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Write a letter to a company asking for a refund for something you bought from them online. In your letter including: What you bought? What the problem is? Why you want a refund? v.1

Write a letter to a company asking for a refund for something you bought from them online. In your letter including: What you bought? What the problem is? Why you want a refund? v. 1
Nowadays, it is easy to find cherries from the USA or oranges imported from Southern India in Vietnamese supermarkets due to globalization. Some people argue that countries are becoming more similar as the result of the abilities in worldwide trade is a positive change while others support the opposite. In my opinion, globalization has both pros and cons. It promotes the world economy, but it also lead to the loss of local cultures. First of all, the ability of trading goods around the world provides opportunities for companies, especially international ones, to extend their market, which contributes to the development of the world economy. In addition to their domestic trade activities, companies can sell their products via the Internet, for instance, Amazon, or export overseas. Moreover, due to the policies supporting globalization, it is easier for international companies to invest in other countries markets. As an example, in Vietnam, you can find plenty of Korean cosmetic brand stores such as The Face Shop, Innisfree, and so on in shopping malls. However, globalization results in the loss of local cultures. When international corporations have access to the domestic market, it is more competitive for local companies or small trade to develop their activities because people are more attracted to novel international brand products. Therefore, these local traders may stop their activities with local goods, which leads to the loss of cultures. For instance, the opening of American fast-food brands such as KFC, Burger King in Vietnam is a threat to Vietnamese restaurants. In conclusion, the development of globalization positively impacts on the growth of the world economy, but it might be a threat to local cultures. It is essential to enhance globalization and support local products at the same time.
Nowadays, it is easy to find cherries from the USA or oranges imported from Southern India in Vietnamese supermarkets due to globalization.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that countries are becoming more similar as the result of the abilities in worldwide trade is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
while others support the opposite. In my opinion, globalization has both pros and cons. It promotes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
economy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
Did you mean "leads"?
lead
to the loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
cultures.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the ability of trading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
provides opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
ones, to extend their market, which contributes to the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
economy.
In addition
to their domestic trade activities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can sell their products via the Internet,
for instance
, Amazon, or export overseas.
Moreover
, due to the policies supporting globalization, it is easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to invest in other countries markets. As an example, in Vietnam, you can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of Korean cosmetic brand stores such as The Face Shop,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Innisfree
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on in shopping malls.

However
, globalization results in the loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
cultures. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
corporations have access to the domestic market, it is more competitive for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
trade to develop their activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more attracted to novel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
brand products.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
traders may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
their activities with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, which leads to the loss of cultures.
For instance
, the opening of American
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food brands such as KFC, Burger King in Vietnam is a threat to Vietnamese restaurants.

In conclusion
, the development of globalization
positively
impacts on the growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
economy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it might be a threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
cultures. It is essential to enhance globalization and support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
products at the same time.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Write a letter to a company asking for a refund for something you bought from them online. In your letter including: What you bought? What the problem is? Why you want a refund? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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