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1303 Describe a perfect holiday you want to have in the futureYou should sayWho you will travel together withWhere you will spend the holidayWhat you will do on holidayAnd explain why you think it will be a perfect holiday v.1

1303 Describe a perfect holiday you want to have in the futureYou should sayWho you will travel together withWhere you will spend the holidayWhat you will do on holidayAnd explain why you think it will be a perfect holiday v. 1
In this modern world, many people are reckoned to think that it is vital to keep personal and official space neat and clean, while some differ with it. After pondering over this phenomenon, I deem to agree with those who think this is a crucial approach. In this essay I will share my view followed by relevant examples. Firstly, a healthy and clean environment gives a positive vibe, which is essential for everyone. This is because, it soothes the mood of an individual, regardless of the issues one is facing. For example, it is quite commonly seen that fancy restaurants, have extremely tidy rooms to provide luxurious and calm feeling to their customers. If they didn't keep their hotels that way, no one would pay a penny to spend a night in an untidy room. Secondly, an organised home is a blessing as it would save a lot of time and frustration caused in searching for a specific item. For example, it is quite common for young boys to face issues while searching for their clothes as compared to girls, as they tend to manage their cupboards properly. Moreover, I believe that unorganised workspace can cause a lot of distractions and mismanagement at work leading to major issues. For instance, it is commonly seen that files in the government office are often mismanaged causing major problems in some cases. In conclusion, even though, in this contemporary era, it is quite difficult to clean and organise things all the time, it is very important to consider the benefits of an organised space and a positive environment.
In this modern world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are reckoned
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is vital to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
personal and official space neat and clean, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
differ with it. After pondering over this phenomenon, I deem to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is a crucial approach. In this essay I will share my view followed by relevant examples.

Firstly
, a healthy and clean environment gives a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
vibe, which is essential for everyone. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it soothes the mood of an individual, regardless of the issues one is facing.
For example
, it is quite
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that fancy restaurants, have
extremely
tidy rooms to provide luxurious and calm feeling to their customers. If they didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their hotels that way, no one would pay a penny to spend a night in an untidy room.

Secondly
, an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
home is a blessing as it would save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and frustration caused in searching for a specific item.
For example
, it is quite common for young boys to face issues while searching for their clothes as compared to girls, as they tend to manage their cupboards
properly
.
Moreover
, I believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
unorganised
workspace can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
distractions and mismanagement at work leading to major issues.
For instance
, it is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that files in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
office are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
mismanaged causing major problems in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases.

In conclusion
,
even though
, in this contemporary era, it is quite difficult to clean and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
things all the time, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider the benefits of an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
space and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
environment.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay 1303 Describe a perfect holiday you want to have in the futureYou should sayWho you will travel together withWhere you will spend the holidayWhat you will do on holidayAnd explain why you think it will be a perfect holiday v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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