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8-2. Is it better to have a career that pay a lot of money but keeps you away from yourfamily or a career that does not play so much but allows you time with your family? Use reasons to support response. v.1

8-2. Is it better to have a career that pay a lot of money but keeps you away from yourfamily or a career that does not play so much but allows you time with your family? Use reasons to support response. v. 1
Migration to other countries is a common trend these days. Each day more and more people migrate to other countries, which has a significant impact on the society. This essay will first discuss why people are migrating and then elaborate the results associated with this problem, followed by a logical conclusion. One of the predominant cause, that compels a person to shift to another provincial, is the desire of getting better employment opportunities. People are seen migrating to affluent countries, which means that they are attracted by the well paid jobs in those countries. Another reason for the same is the desire of leading a quality activity. A lot of people from developing and underdeveloped countries leave their home rustic in order to live in developed countries with less population to improve their quality of heart. This can be example by a growing number of Indians who are migrating to Canada for the sake of better growth. However, such a trend causes problems for both the migrants and the countries of their destination. First of all persons, who cross boundaries to find jobs in other countries, fail to find attractive and well rewarding employment facilities because of a lack of language skills and difficulties in adaptation. Therefore, countries have to run various Refugee assistant programs to help those people, which cause a burden on the financial resources of the host rustic. For instance, the American Government has to spend 5% of its net national income every year to support the migrants. To conclude, while people migrate to find a better life prospectus such a situation sometimes leads to more problems than solutions to the team and host countries. Hence, it is very important to consider all the possible outcomes and then decide about the leaving home homey.
Migration to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is a common trend these days. Each day more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which has a significant impact on the society. This essay will
first
discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are migrating and then elaborate the results associated with this problem, followed by a logical conclusion.

One of the predominant cause, that compels a person to shift to another provincial, is the desire of getting better employment opportunities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
migrating to affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which means that they
are attracted
by the well paid jobs in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Another reason for the same is the desire of leading a quality activity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from developing and underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home rustic in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with less population to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their quality of heart. This can be example by a growing number of Indians who are migrating to Canada for the sake of better growth.

However
, such a trend causes problems for both the migrants and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of their destination.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
persons, who cross boundaries to find jobs in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, fail to find attractive and well rewarding employment facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a lack of language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and difficulties in adaptation.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
run various Refugee assistant programs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which cause a burden on the financial resources of the host rustic.
For instance
, the American
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
spend 5% of its net national income every year to support the migrants.

To conclude
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate to find a better life prospectus such a situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
leads to more problems than solutions to the team and host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider all the possible outcomes and then decide about the leaving home homey.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay 8-2. Is it better to have a career that pay a lot of money but keeps you away from yourfamily or a career that does not play so much but allows you time with your family? Use reasons to support response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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