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Working hours today are too long and people are not spending as much time as they should with their families or on leisure activities. What is your opinion on this? v.1

Working hours today are too long and people are not spending as much time as they should with their families or on leisure activities. What is your opinion on this? v. 1
It is undeniable that scientific investigation is imperative for a country’s development in this modern world. However, it is equally important to have a control in place as to who can carry out such exploration. To a larger extent, I agree that the ministry should have an upper hand when it comes to undertaking scientific analysis as they tend to be more people driven. There are various reasons why it is pivotal to have a ministry-run research projects. To begin with, when an investigation is carried out by the union, the motive behind is always people-driven and not money oriented. As a result, there is more transparency in the process and the need to invest in a quality exploration that benefits the general public also increases. Furthermore, a power is borne to be more responsible and has complete accountability when it comes to investing public money in such inquiry. In contrast, private organizations are not people oriented and they tend to invest in research projects that are more profitable. In addition, when the funding comes from the same organization, the results could also be biased to ensure there is a favourable outcome to the funding institution. For example, companies that produce medicinal drugs are legally obliged to go through rigorous trials, which may take several years to complete. As private companies invest a lump sum of money in such studies, it is impractical for them to wait for a longer tenure to attain the expected results. Hence, there is a higher probability of the quality being compromised to make the investigation successfully. In conclusion, carrying out and controlling scientific probe is a contentious issue as transparency and openness are pivotal for a quality research. Undoubtedly, this is only possible if done by a non-profit organization like the authority.
It is undeniable that scientific investigation is imperative for a country’s development in this modern world.
However
, it is
equally
important
to have a control in place as to who can carry out such exploration. To a larger extent, I
agree
that the ministry should have an upper hand when it
comes
to undertaking scientific analysis as they tend to be more
people
driven.

There are various reasons why it is pivotal to have a ministry-run research projects. To
begin
with, when an investigation
is carried
out by the union, the motive behind is always
people
-driven and not money oriented.
As a result
, there is more transparency in the process and the need to invest in a quality exploration that benefits the
general public
also
increases.

Furthermore
, a power
is borne
to be more responsible and has complete accountability when it
comes
to investing public money in such inquiry.

In contrast
, private organizations are not
people
oriented and
they tend to invest in research projects that are more profitable.
In addition
, when the funding
comes
from the same organization, the results could
also
be biased
to ensure there is a
favourable
outcome to the funding institution.
For example
,
companies
that produce medicinal drugs are
legally
obliged to go through rigorous trials, which may take several years to complete. As private
companies
invest a lump sum of money in such studies, it is impractical for them to wait for a longer tenure to attain the
expected
results.
Hence
, there is a higher probability of the quality
being compromised
to
make
the investigation
successfully
.

In conclusion
, carrying out and controlling scientific probe is a contentious issue as transparency and openness are pivotal for a quality research.
Undoubtedly
, this is
only
possible if done by a non-profit organization like the authority.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Working hours today are too long and people are not spending as much time as they should with their families or on leisure activities. What is your opinion on this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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