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People tend to work longer hours nowadays. Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves their families and the society so working hours should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

People tend to work longer hours nowadays. Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves their families and the society so working hours should be restricted. v. 2
It has become apparent in recent years that people spend a lot of time in their workplaces than before. It is argued that it has drawbacks for themselves as well as to their family and to the public. This essay disagrees with this statement because of financial reasons and better career perspectives. To begin with, it is true that, if you work more, you will earn more and this is vital for your family members. Nowadays a lot of positions in different spheres are hourly based. Also, companies paying overtime rates, which can be 2 times more than your standard payment. For example, by taking extra hours I was able to buy a new car just in 3 months instead of 6 months. Another reason is that spending most of our time in the office can be useful in terms of our career growth. Because if we will take some extra hours, we can increase our knowledge of the subject which relates to our primary job functions, which can be an advantage not only in our work but also for the society. Moreover, employers usually respect employee who takes care of his or her job and because of this, they are able to be promoted. For instance, a recent study found that 70% of senior management representatives spend more time in order to achieve the next level in their occupation. Taking all these points into the consideration, long working hours has not disadvantages which are related to the workers' family or society, instead of this it has an economic advantage and it helps to change our work position to the better ones.
It has become apparent in recent years that
people
spend
a lot of
time
in their workplaces than
before
. It
is argued
that it has drawbacks for themselves
as well
as to their family and to the public. This essay disagrees with this statement
because
of financial reasons and better career perspectives.

To
begin
with, it is true that, if you work more, you will earn more and this is vital for your family members. Nowadays
a lot of
positions in
different
spheres are hourly based.
Also
,
companies
paying overtime rates, which can be 2
times
more than your standard payment.
For example
, by taking extra hours I was able to
buy
a new car
just
in 3 months
instead
of 6 months.

Another reason is that spending most of our
time
in the office can be useful in terms of our career growth.
Because
if we will take
some
extra hours, we can increase our knowledge of the subject which relates to our primary job functions, which can be an advantage not
only
in our work
but
also
for the society.
Moreover
, employers
usually
respect employee who takes care of
his or her
job and
because of this
, they are able to
be promoted
.
For instance
, a recent study found that 70% of senior management representatives spend more
time
in order to achieve the
next
level in their occupation.

Taking all these points into the consideration, long working hours has not disadvantages which
are related
to the workers' family or society,
instead
of this it has an economic advantage and it
helps
to
change
our work position to the better ones.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay People tend to work longer hours nowadays. Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves their families and the society so working hours should be restricted. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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