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TPO 17 independent agree or not most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are v.1

TPO 17 independent agree or not most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are v. 1
Advertising ads on internet sites has become a trend these days for almost every business company to get their produced products to customers. This trend of selling products has drawbacks because people are spending money and wasting money for nothing. Online advertisements do negatively affect people's perspective with their powerful strategies. This is because websites store the search history and display the products to target week point so that visitors forcefully press the icon to buy the product. As a result, people purchase expensive and useless things that are of no use. For example, women are more likely to spend money on skincare and make-up products, and for them it is hard to control when they see advertisements related to beauty. The fact that the online commercials are considered beneficial to get some updates about new deals; however, people do waste their precious time when they get fascinated by advertising products because they get distracted and spend hours exploring the services of the product. This has massively affected young people who get online for their studies, but they end up wasting lots of time when they get attracted by very interesting products. For instance, a report by the BBC stated that people waste 10% of their time searching and finding the details of the products when they see it on some random website. In conclusion, online ads are the source of getting a piece of updated information about the product's quality and price; however, commercials can disturb people and lure women to spend the salary on useless products.
Advertising ads on internet sites has become a trend these days for almost every business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to customers. This trend of selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
has drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spending money and wasting money for nothing.

Online advertisements do
negatively
affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's perspective with their powerful strategies. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
websites store the search history and display the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to target week point
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that visitors
forcefully
press the icon to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
expensive and useless things that are of no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
For example
, women are more likely to spend money on skincare and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
-up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, and for them it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to control when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
advertisements related to beauty.

The fact that the online commercials
are considered
beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
updates about new deals;
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do waste their precious time when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fascinated by advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted and spend hours exploring the services of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. This has
massively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
online for their studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up wasting lots of time when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For instance
, a report by the BBC stated that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
waste 10% of their time searching and finding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
random website.

In conclusion
, online ads are the source of getting a piece of updated information about the product's quality and price;
however
, commercials can disturb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and lure women to spend the salary on useless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay TPO 17 independent agree or not most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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