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People tend to work longer hours nowadays. Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves their families and the society so working hours should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

People tend to work longer hours nowadays. Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves their families and the society so working hours should be restricted. v. 1
Working longer hours is getting more common in today’s society. I personally believe that this trend not only has a severe impact on the workers themselves, but also on their families and the community as a whole. Therefore, I totally agree with the idea of limiting working hours. A few decades ago, a person normally worked an average of eight hours per day. Average daily working hours in recent years, however, have significantly increased to ten or even fourteen. This, in my opinion, adversely affects employees’ health and productivity. For example, people who spend longer at work are more likely to suffer from various health issues, ranging from fatigue to more serious problems like anxiety disorders or even stroke. Failing health leads to more sick leave, poor work performance and low productivity. My cousin is a case in point. Working nearly twelve hours on a daily basis, he frequently feels exhausted and makes more errors at work than he used to. I also think that extended hours of work has serious consequences for families and communities. At the family level, busy working schedules prevent people from taking frequent family trips or even just having meals together. Relationships among members are greatly weakened if they cannot make time for each other. In terms of community life, overworked people do not devote time to voluntary activity that brings benefits for their society. My uncle, for example, hardly has time for local community service projects such as conservation work or working with a charity because he works more than sixty hours per week. In conclusion, I would argue that working time should be reduced since the frequency of long working hours exerts an adverse effect on employees, their family bonds and their community.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
is getting more common in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society. I
personally
believe that this trend not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has a severe impact on the workers themselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
as a whole.
Therefore
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of limiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours.

A few decades ago, a person
normally
worked an average of eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per day. Average daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in recent years,
however
, have
significantly
increased to ten or even fourteen. This, in my opinion,
adversely
affects employees’ health and productivity.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who spend longer at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
are more likely to suffer from various health issues, ranging from fatigue to more serious problems like anxiety disorders or even stroke. Failing health leads to more sick
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
performance and low productivity. My cousin is a case in point.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
nearly
twelve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
on a daily basis, he
frequently
feels exhausted and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
more errors at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
than he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to.

I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
has serious consequences for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
. At the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
level, busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
schedules
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from taking frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
trips or even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
having meals together. Relationships among members are
greatly
weakened if they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for each other. In terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
life, overworked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not devote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to voluntary activity that brings benefits for their society. My uncle,
for example
, hardly has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
service projects such as conservation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with a charity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he works more than sixty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per week.

In conclusion
, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
since the frequency of long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
exerts an adverse effect on employees, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonds and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay People tend to work longer hours nowadays. Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves their families and the society so working hours should be restricted. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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