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Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and lesson their working life To what extents do you agree or disagree with this statement v.2

Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and lesson their working life 2
Over the last decades, It is believed that more females are playing a vital role in terms of educating and nourishing their youngsters, while their husbands are breadwinners. This leads to the fact wives should concentrate on caring and teaching their offspring instead of pursuing their career path. From my perspective, I completely disagree with this statement due to it causes gender inequality. On the one hand, it is demonstrated that both males and females have qualities which are the best efficient measures when it comes to children' s education and tending. As a result, those skills facilitate both of them in childcare successfully, which means teaching and looking after their youngsters is not specific for the female role only. If more men are househusbands, the couples would reap certain benefits from this phenomenon. For the best, mothers not only have more time for their favors but also utilize the amount of free time to gain more qualifications which paves the way for their career path. Not to mention that, childcare help fathers to understand more about their children and tighten the relationship between themselves and their youngsters. On the other hand, despite the obvious advantages of housewives, it will be not equal to females when blinding their responsibilities is only childcare. Firstly, there are a large variety of women who are senior managers in the areas of the employee when they pursue their Life-work. This change brings more merits than drawbacks due to the fact that possessing a job can help wives split heavy burden with their husbands as well as avoid financially dependent on their spouse. Secondly, the more jobs they do, the more incoming taxes they pay for their government, which means the states can allocate the national budget that obtained from this type of tax for other urgent issues such as education, health care, and infrastructure. In summarize, it cannot be denied the fact that females are superior to caring offspring than males. However, I believe that women become breadwinners are an imperative trend of humankind. Thus, authorities should enact more effective policies in order to encourage women to make ends meet.
Over the last decades, It
is believed
that more
females
are playing a vital role in terms of educating and nourishing their youngsters, while their husbands are breadwinners. This leads to the fact wives should concentrate on caring and teaching their offspring
instead
of pursuing their career path. From my perspective, I completely disagree with this statement due to it causes gender inequality.

On the one hand, it
is demonstrated
that both males and
females
have qualities which are the best efficient measures when it
comes
to
children&
#039; s education and tending.
As a result
, those
skills
facilitate both of them in childcare
successfully
, which means teaching and looking after their youngsters is not specific for the
female
role
only
. If more
men
are househusbands, the couples would reap certain benefits from this phenomenon. For the best, mothers not
only
have more time for their favors
but
also
utilize the amount of free time to gain more qualifications which paves the way for their career path. Not to mention that, childcare
help
fathers to understand more about their children and tighten the relationship between themselves and their youngsters.

On the other hand
, despite the obvious advantages of housewives, it will be not equal to
females
when blinding their responsibilities is
only
childcare.
Firstly
, there are a large variety of women who are senior managers in the areas of the employee when they pursue their Life-work. This
change
brings more merits than drawbacks due to the fact that possessing a job can
help
wives split heavy burden with their husbands
as well
as avoid
financially
dependent on their spouse.
Secondly
, the more jobs they do, the more incoming taxes they pay for their
government
, which means the states can allocate the national budget that obtained from this type of tax for other urgent issues such as education, health care, and infrastructure.

In summarize, it cannot
be denied
the fact that
females
are superior to caring offspring than males.
However
, I believe that women become breadwinners are an imperative trend of humankind.
Thus
, authorities should enact more effective policies in order to encourage women to
make
ends
meet
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and lesson their working life 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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