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Most of the world’s urgent problems are caused by over-population. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Most of the world’s urgent problems are caused by over-population. v. 2
It is true that the booming of the population in many recent decades is the major reason giving rise to imperative issues for individuals and governments on a global scale. As far as I am concerned, I support those who agree with this view. The following essay will present some resources to demonstrate my opinion. Evidently, the dramatic rise in population generates far-reaching consequences that reduce citizens’ living standards. Due to the fact that the competitive job market, companies, cannot accommodate a large number of applicants. It leads to the increasing jobless rate that would impose a burden on the authority and the society owing to the national funding must be allocated for unemployment. Not to mention that would be the lack of accommodation and basic living conditions, which means more people have to live under the poverty lines, such as residing in poor housing states, illiterate problems and the deficiency of health-care service. Image if there were not essential needs, they would likely to resort to illegal measures that threaten innocent residents’ safety. From my perspective, I believe that there are detrimental influences on the environment when it comes to the surge in population. Initially, the excessive number of road users results in a greater level of exhaust fumes emitted from their means of transportation. Consequently, people’s health would deteriorate when they get enormously exposed to the contaminated atmosphere. Nevertheless, the rising demand for natural resources also brings about the loss of wildlife habitats. If the government does not make enough efforts to limit such exploitation, the eco-system will suffer serious damage and in turn, endanger people’s life In conclusion, from my point of view, it is obvious that the demerits of overpopulation not only causes devastation to humankind’s surrounding but also creates a variety of problems to governments and the community. Therefore, authorities should make effective policies to restrict this matter.
It is true that the booming of the population in
many
recent decades is the major reason giving rise to imperative issues for individuals and
governments
on a global scale. As far as I
am concerned
, I support those who
agree
with this view. The following essay will present
some
resources to demonstrate my opinion.

Evidently
, the dramatic rise in population generates far-reaching consequences that
reduce
citizens’ living standards. Due to the fact that the competitive job market,
companies
, cannot accommodate
a large number of
applicants. It leads to the increasing jobless rate that would impose a burden on the authority and the society owing to the national funding
must
be allocated
for unemployment. Not to mention that would be the lack of accommodation and basic living conditions, which means more
people
have to
live
under the poverty lines, such as residing in poor housing states, illiterate problems and the deficiency of health-care service. Image if there were not essential needs, they would likely to resort to illegal measures that threaten innocent residents’ safety.

From my perspective, I believe that there are detrimental influences on the environment when it
comes
to the surge in population.
Initially
, the excessive number of road users results in a greater level of exhaust fumes emitted from their means of transportation.
Consequently
,
people
’s health would deteriorate when they
get
enormously
exposed to the contaminated atmosphere.
Nevertheless
, the rising demand for natural resources
also
brings about the loss of wildlife habitats. If the
government
does not
make
enough
efforts to limit such exploitation, the
eco-system
will suffer serious damage and in turn, endanger
people
’s
life


In conclusion
, from my point of view, it is obvious that the demerits of overpopulation not
only
causes devastation to humankind’s surrounding
but
also
creates a variety of problems to
governments
and the community.
Therefore
, authorities should
make
effective policies to restrict this matter.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Most of the world’s urgent problems are caused by over-population. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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