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Do you agree or disagree with the following statements? Young people enjoy life more than older people do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.11

Young people enjoy life more than older people do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 11
Life of every person starts from childhood to old-age. Every person in his/her life do lot of entertaining things. What other people thinks that older people enjoy life more than young people. But, I believe that young people enjoy life more than older people. In my point of view, I am completely agree with the claim made by the author. First, I want to take example of my grandfather who is suffering from heart diseases and knee-pain is now unable to move or eat according to his own wish. Old people generally suffering from diseases and disorders thus they are unable to eat or move anything according to their own choices. They have to take medicines described by the doctor, whereas young people has liberty to travel, eat or do anything he wants to do. They are energetic, full of enthusiasm and able to do anything. Secondly, the young people are also involved in different activities. Life is like an adventure for young people because they meet new people, visit new places and learn about different culture. In converse, the old people' s life is fullof disappointment due to their sufferings. They used to enjoy there old days by remembering those old days. They have infinite number of memories which help them in survive and becomes strength to fight all difficulties. Young people are busy in different outdoor and indoor activities such as trekking, hill-climbing, swimming and playing other sports. They also prefer to travel new places and do not want to get serious in life. In this way, we can conclude that young people enjoy more life than older people do. The old people are the peoplen who are full of suffering waiting for there death whereas young people are full of joy and happiness.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
of every person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
from childhood to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-age. Every person in his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
do
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
entertaining things. What other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
thinks
that older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more than older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my point of view, I am completely
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with the claim made by the author.

First
, I want to take example of my grandfather who is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suffering
from heart diseases and knee-pain is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
or eat according to his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
wish.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
generally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suffering
from diseases and disorders
thus
they are unable to eat or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
anything according to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take medicines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
by the doctor, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
liberty to travel, eat or do anything he wants to do. They are energetic, full of enthusiasm and able to do anything.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
also
involved in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
is like an adventure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, visit new places and learn about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture. In converse, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullof
disappointment due to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sufferings
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
days by remembering those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
days. They have infinite number of memories which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in survive and becomes strength to fight all difficulties.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
outdoor and indoor activities such as trekking, hill-climbing, swimming and playing other sports. They
also
prefer to travel new places and do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
serious in life.

In this way, we can conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
than older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the
Possible spelling mistake found.
peoplen
who are full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suffering
waiting for there death whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are full of joy and happiness.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Young people enjoy life more than older people do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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