Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. with this statement? v. 2
Ladies are thought to be more suitable in providing cares to their children than males do. Hence, it is believed that mothers should concentrate greatly on care giving than in their occupations. From my opinion, I absolutely agree with the above statement for the following two prime reasons. Firstly, females are not as careless as men. For instance, they are always the first person to recognize the symptoms indicated by their child, when he or she is hungry or sick. Therefore, it is advantageous to the development of their babies as they receive more maternal care and they are able to grow healthily. A healthy child is the prime responsibility of any parents and because mothers are better at it, thus, they should focus more on raising their toddlers than anything else. Furthermore, scientific research depicted that raising juniors is a difficult job and requires many patience. Additionally, maternal parents are more capable of performing them than the paternal parents. For example, they are able to entertain and feed their babies concurrently. Since, it is a complicated work, mothers should spend more time and invest remarkable efforts to ensure an ideal environment to raise their beloved daughter or son. In conclusion, women are more careful and have a better capability in doing multiple chores that are necessary for the development of their offspring in comparison to fathers. Therefore, I totally agree that they are preferred over males in raising children and that they need to pay more attention towards them, instead of being a breadwinner.
Ladies are
thought
to be more suitable in providing cares to their children than males do.
Hence
, it
is believed
that mothers should concentrate
greatly
on care giving than in their occupations. From my opinion, I
absolutely
agree
with the above statement for the following two prime reasons.

Firstly
, females are not as careless as
men
.
For instance
, they are always the
first
person to recognize the symptoms indicated by their child, when he or she is hungry or sick.
Therefore
, it is advantageous to the development of their babies as they receive more maternal
care and
they are able to grow
healthily
. A healthy child is the prime responsibility of any parents and
because
mothers are better at it,
thus
, they should focus more on raising their toddlers than anything else.

Furthermore
, scientific research depicted that raising juniors is a difficult job and requires
many patience
.
Additionally
, maternal parents are more capable of performing them than the paternal parents.
For example
, they are able to entertain and feed their babies
concurrently
. Since, it is a complicated work, mothers should spend more time and invest remarkable efforts to ensure an ideal environment to raise their beloved daughter or son.

In conclusion
, women are more careful and have a better capability in doing multiple chores that are necessary for the development of their offspring
in comparison
to fathers.
Therefore
, I
totally
agree
that they
are preferred
over males in raising children and that they need to pay more attention towards them,
instead
of being a breadwinner.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. with this statement? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts