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Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement v.6

Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life with this statement v. 6
Although there are different and divergent views, computers are the most significant scientific invention in the last one hundred years. Many people argue that computers have revolutionised our way of working and to some extent living. That’s why they consider it to be the most vital man-made object. I entirely seem to agree with this viewpoint. First of all, modern devices use the latest technology to process the data in our daily activities. There are numerous advantages of owning and using it at work, in business or in our study because they show the results within a short span of time. Therefore, what might have looked impossible few years ago is accessible and is at our fingertips. For example, a bank can easily maintain the record of its customers without risking loss of data and can retrieve it within a few minutes. People have been able to work effectively and without much hassle by using computers in banking, finance, or in accounting fields. Secondly, the computer has enhanced our quality of life as well as helping us to increase our longevity. Many modern medical research and studies have been possible only because the computer quickens the data comparison, or sharing of studies among peers. For example, in the study of genetics, the computer has turned out to be indispensable as it needs to map billions of human cells and their chemical structures. In conclusion, it is impossible to think of any other machine or instrument which has impacted so much in our lives. Computers have become not only the part and parcel of our lives, but also the significant driving force in our future studies.
Although there are
different
and divergent views, computers are the most significant scientific invention in the last one hundred years.
Many
people
argue that computers have
revolutionised
our way of working and to
some
extent living. That’s why they consider it to be the most vital
man
-made object. I
entirely
seem to
agree
with this viewpoint.

First of all
, modern devices
use
the latest technology to process the data in our daily activities. There are numerous advantages of owning and using it at work, in business or in our
study
because
they
show
the results within a short span of time.
Therefore
, what might have looked impossible few years ago is accessible and is at our fingertips.
For example
, a bank can
easily
maintain the record of its customers without risking loss of data and can retrieve it within a few minutes.
People
have been able to work
effectively
and without much hassle by using computers in banking, finance, or in accounting fields.

Secondly
, the computer has enhanced our quality of life
as well
as helping us to increase our longevity.
Many
modern medical research and
studies
have been possible
only
because
the computer quickens the data comparison, or sharing of
studies
among peers.
For example
, in the
study
of genetics, the computer has turned out to be indispensable as it needs to map billions of human cells and their chemical structures.

In conclusion
, it is impossible to
think
of any other machine or instrument which has impacted
so
much in our
lives
. Computers have become not
only
the part and parcel of our
lives
,
but
also
the significant driving force in our future
studies
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life with this statement v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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