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Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.5

Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. with this statement? v. 5
Women are mothers by nature. In fact, they can take care of their kids and meet their needs better than men. However, this women's feminist talent should not be used by some people to underestimate the power of women in the work field. In this essay, I will discuss my view about supporting the women in working life, and explain the reasons behind my personal opinion. Certainly, women have many genuine characteristics that allow them to be superior at childcare tasks. First of all, women are good listeners, they can listen to their kids carefully and understand them. Moreover, they are more patient than men, and whatever happened, they will be able to control themselves from being angry and think wisely to figure out a solution to the problem. In addition, women are remarkable multi-tasking workers. They can do many tasks at the same time while maintaining the quality, and this is the key point behind their ability to do all of the home chores in a short period while maintaining their kids. Although all of these could be true, that doesn’t mean they are not doing well in the working life. Working life for women could support them to do better as mothers for many reasons. First, handling the work responsibilities and their due time might be beneficial for enhancing time management skills. Also, exposure to different personalities in the work environment would increase the skills of persuading and negotiations which are very useful to manage the kids. Furthermore, encountering obstacles and finding their solutions in job life will help to build a solid source for the experiences and knowledge to back up her motherhood life. Finally, having a financially stable situation has an essential impact on her confidence as well as her role as mothers. To sum up, motherhood is a natural job for women because of their feminist traits. However, having this responsibility as mothers toward their children should not contradict with their right to have a working life. Moreover, their jobs could perfect them as mothers by polishing some life skills which support their motherhood life.
Women
are mothers by nature. In fact, they can take care of their
kids
and
meet
their needs better than
men
.
However
,
this
women's feminist talent should not be
used
by
some
people
to underestimate the power of
women
in the work field. In this essay, I will discuss my view about supporting the
women
in working
life
, and
explain
the reasons behind my personal opinion.

Certainly
,
women
have
many
genuine characteristics that
allow
them to be superior at childcare tasks.
First of all
,
women
are
good
listeners, they can listen to their
kids
carefully
and understand them.
Moreover
, they are more patient than
men
, and whatever happened, they will be able to control themselves from being angry and
think
wisely
to figure out a solution to the problem.
In addition
,
women
are remarkable multi-tasking workers. They can do
many
tasks at the same time while maintaining the quality, and this is the key point behind their ability to do
all of the
home chores in a short period while maintaining their
kids
. Although all of these could be true, that doesn’t mean they are not doing well in the working life.

Working
life
for
women
could support them to do better as mothers for
many
reasons.
First
, handling the work responsibilities and their due time might be beneficial for enhancing time management
skills
.
Also
, exposure to
different
personalities in the work environment would increase the
skills
of persuading and negotiations which are
very
useful to manage the
kids
.
Furthermore
, encountering obstacles and finding their solutions in job
life
will
help
to build a solid source for the experiences and knowledge to back up her motherhood
life
.
Finally
, having a
financially
stable situation has an essential impact on her confidence
as well
as her role as mothers.

To sum up, motherhood is a natural job for
women
because
of their feminist traits.
However
, having this responsibility as mothers toward their children should not contradict with their right to have a working
life
.
Moreover
, their jobs could perfect them as mothers by polishing
some
life
skills
which support their motherhood
life
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. with this statement? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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