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Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? v.6

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? v. 6
Nature has made males and females with a different set of characteristics and these contrasts in feature make them adept at certain tasks, according to the common belief of the society. However, in this era, when gender equality has already been accepted and both males and females proved that they can be equally fit in any job, excluding a certain gender from a particular profession is no longer an acceptable and wise option. To begin with, according to the common social dogma, women should stay at home, take care of the kitchen and up-bring children while men should have a career, earn money and take important decisions for the family. Though this was a widely accepted idea in the past, it has started changing and women in certain professions have outnumbered their male counterparts. For instance, the number of female teachers has already exceeded the number of male teachers in many countries according to an online report. On the other hand, men have proven that they can be as good as females in child care and nursing. The time has come to forget the old dogma and accept the fact that gender equality is longer an option, but a must in job sectors. Women are no longer ready to be confined within the walls while males have forgotten their prejudices and started switching the roles. Furthermore, while selecting someone for a job, the authority should look for a suitable candidate and that person can be either a male or female. The widely held belief that women are less suitable in professions that require physical strength, logical reasoning, mental power, diplomacy and dealing with others is no longer acceptable in the society. Many female presidents and prime ministers in the world have proved that it is a baseless theory and tech giants lie Google, Microsoft, Facebook and Yahoo! Do not employ people based on their gender, rather they put more emphasis on someone’s quality and potential. To draw a conclusion to the discussion, despite some physical differences, both men and women have similar talents and possibility. The old dogma of gender-based role is no longer tolerable in the modern era and this is why someone’s talent and skill should be the primary reasons for the suitability for a job, not the gender of the candidate.
Nature has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
set of characteristics and these contrasts in feature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them adept at certain tasks, according to the common belief of the society.
However
, in this era, when gender equality has already been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
and both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
proved that they can be
equally
fit in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, excluding a certain gender from a particular profession is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
an acceptable and wise option.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, according to the common social dogma,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should stay at home, take care of the kitchen and up-bring children while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
should have a career, earn money and take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
decisions for the family. Though this was a
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
in the past, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
changing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in certain professions have outnumbered their male counterparts.
For instance
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
teachers has already exceeded the number of male teachers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries according to an online report.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
have proven that they can be as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
in child care and nursing. The time has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to forget the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
dogma and accept the fact that gender equality is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
an option,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Did you mean "I"?
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
sectors.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
ready to
be confined
within the walls while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
have forgotten their prejudices and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
switching the roles.

Furthermore
, while selecting someone for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, the authority should look for a suitable candidate and that person can be either a male or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
. The
widely
held belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are less suitable in professions that require physical strength, logical reasoning, mental power, diplomacy and dealing with others is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
acceptable in the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
presidents and prime ministers in the world have proved that it is a baseless theory and tech giants lie Google, Microsoft, Facebook and Yahoo! Do not employ
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
based on their gender,
rather
they put more emphasis on someone’s quality and potential.

To draw a conclusion to the discussion, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical differences, both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have similar talents and possibility. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
dogma of gender-based role is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
tolerable in the modern era and this is why someone’s talent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
should be the primary reasons for the suitability for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, not the gender of the candidate.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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