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Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? v.4

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? v. 4
It is evident that the gender gap is closing in the vast majority of occupations in today’s society. However, some remain with the opinion that females and males are born to have differences in terms of their vocational preferences. Despite this, I would argue in this essay that it is wrong to exclude a certain gender from a certain occupation. It is undoubtedly true that a certain gender could be more appreciated in some professions. It is mainly determined by the biological differences between males and females. For example, females are perceived to be more caring and nurturing by nature, so that they could be more suitable working in nurseries and hospitals; whereas, males are more likely to be employed in mining and construction industries because they are physically stronger. In those cases, the gender gap may remain in the short future. However, for the vast majority of professions, making occupations more open to both genders has significant advantages. Different genders could bring different perspectives into work, which could generate more possibilities for a company’s development. For example, a male nurse could offer his unique experience to a female-dominated team in order to promote a more holistic care to patients in both genders. Moreover, there is evidence that a mixed-gender working environment is often proven to be more efficient. Therefore, companies could benefit from the different perspectives and efficiency that mixed gender teams bring. To conclude, although some occupations remain to be female or male dominant, there are more advantages to allowing both genders have the freedom of their vocational choices. Companies that facilitate this equality could benefit from the increased possibilities and efficiency.
It is evident that the gender gap is closing in the vast majority of occupations in
today
’s society.
However
,
some
remain with the opinion that
females
and
males
are born
to have differences in terms of their vocational preferences. Despite this, I would argue in this essay that it is
wrong
to exclude a certain gender from a certain occupation.

It is
undoubtedly
true that a certain gender could be more appreciated in
some
professions. It is
mainly
determined by the biological differences between
males
and
females
.
For example
,
females
are perceived
to be more caring and nurturing by nature,
so
that they could be more suitable working in nurseries and hospitals; whereas,
males
are more likely to
be employed
in mining and construction industries
because
they are
physically
stronger. In those cases, the gender gap may remain in the short future.

However
, for the vast majority of professions, making occupations more open to both genders has significant advantages.
Different
genders could bring
different
perspectives into work, which could generate more possibilities for a
company
’s development.
For example
, a male nurse could offer his unique experience to a female-dominated team in order to promote a more holistic care to patients in both genders.
Moreover
, there is evidence that a mixed-gender working environment is
often
proven to be more efficient.
Therefore
,
companies
could benefit from the
different
perspectives and efficiency that mixed gender teams bring.

To conclude
, although
some
occupations remain to be
female
or male dominant, there are more advantages to allowing both genders have the freedom of their vocational choices.
Companies
that facilitate this equality could benefit from the increased possibilities and efficiency.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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