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Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males and females from certain professions because pf their gender v.1

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males and females from certain professions because pf their gender v. 1
There is no denying that in this day and age, many promotions women have made in education and functioning. Nonetheless, females still tend to earn less with regard to males. From my point of view, thisthis might be because, traditionally, women have been restricted to certain roles and the best solution for this is to educate people to the thought that both men and women should have access the same professional opportunities. The main cause of gender discrimination is that from the earliest times people used to think that women should not work and even get an education. In some countries, for example, thisthis persuasion still exists. We can easily take as an example a country Iran, where there are special laws, which disallow females to work and get a higher education. Another quite important reason is that women are restricted to particular rules such as secretaries or receptionists. Moreover, in fact, owners of such kind of professions are not able to pursue a career and to be promoted in position. These problems are present for inequality in work place and the amount of salary. The solution that I believe would be most effective is determining a belief of contemporaneity and equality between women and men. In addition, people should understand that females want to be educated and advanced in the employment. This will certainly tackle the problem quickly. The second resolution for this issue, would be for governments themselves to take the lead in ensuring that their male and female employees earn the same for equivalent work and that promoted fairly. This would flip to establish for companies in the private sector. To draw the conclusion, maybe it is true that this question of gender discrimination in the work place will be willing to change their principles and establish new laws which will help yo built equality between women and men in the workplace.
There is no denying that in this day and age,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
promotions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have made in education and functioning. Nonetheless,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
still
tend to earn less with regard to males. From my point of view,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thisthis
might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
traditionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have
been restricted
to certain roles and the best solution for this is to educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should have access the same professional opportunities.

The main cause of gender discrimination is that from the earliest times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an education. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries,
for example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thisthis
persuasion
still
exists. We can
easily
take as an example a country Iran, where there are special laws, which disallow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a higher education. Another quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are restricted
to particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
such as secretaries or receptionists.
Moreover
, in fact, owners of such kind of professions are not able to pursue a career and to
be promoted
in position. These problems are present for inequality in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place and the amount of salary.

The solution that I believe would be most effective is determining a belief of contemporaneity and equality between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should understand that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
want to
be educated
and advanced in the employment. This will
certainly
tackle the problem
quickly
. The second resolution for this issue, would be for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
themselves to take the lead in ensuring that their male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
employees earn the same for equivalent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and that promoted
fairly
. This would flip to establish for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in the private sector.

To draw the conclusion, maybe it is true that this question of gender discrimination in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place will be willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their principles and establish new laws which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Did you mean "to", "you" or "your"?
yo
built equality between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in the workplace.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males and females from certain professions because pf their gender v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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