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Supermarkets should only sell food produced from within their own country rather than imports from overseas. What are your opinions on this? v.1

Supermarkets should only sell food produced from within their own country rather than imports from overseas. What are your opinions on this? v. 1
Nowadays, supermarkets are stocked with food products from around the world. Some would argue that it would be better if food produce was not imported. I firmly believe that this view is correct, and will discuss the reasons why in this essay. It is certainly the case that importing food can have a negative effect on local culture. This can be seen in countries such as Japan where imported food has become more popular than traditional, local produce, eroding people's understanding of their own food traditions. Although some would claim that this is a natural part of economic development in an increasingly global world, I feel strongly that any loss of regional culture would be detrimental. A second major reason to reduce imports is the environmental cost. Currently, many food imports, such as fruit, are transported thousands of miles by road, sea and air, making the product more expensive to buy and increasing pollution from exhaust fumes. Despite the fact that the trade in food exports has existed for many years, I am convinced that a reduction would bring significant financial and environmental gains. However, many jobs depend on food exports and some less developed countries may even depend on this trade for economic survival. In spite of this, the importance of developing local trade should not be undervalued. In conclusion, I am certain that reducing food imports would have cultural and environmental benefits. What is more, the local economy should, in time, prosper commercially as the demand for local and regional products remains high resisting the competition from overseas.
Nowadays, supermarkets
are stocked
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products from around the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that it would be better if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
produce was not imported. I
firmly
believe that this view is correct, and will discuss the reasons why in this essay.

It is
certainly
the case that importing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in countries such as Japan where imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has become more popular than traditional,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
produce, eroding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's understanding of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
traditions. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would claim that this is a natural part of economic development in an
increasingly
global world, I feel
strongly
that any loss of regional culture would be detrimental.

A second major reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
imports is the environmental cost.
Currently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
imports, such as fruit,
are transported
thousands of miles by road, sea and air, making the product more expensive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and increasing pollution from exhaust fumes. Despite the fact that the trade in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
exports has existed for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years, I
am convinced
that a reduction would bring significant financial and environmental gains.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobs depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
exports and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
may even depend on this trade for economic survival.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this, the importance of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
trade should not
be undervalued
.

In conclusion
, I am certain that reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
imports would have cultural and environmental benefits.
What is more
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economy should, in time, prosper
commercially
as the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
and regional products remains high resisting the competition from overseas.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Supermarkets should only sell food produced from within their own country rather than imports from overseas. What are your opinions on this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
260 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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