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The costs of medical health care are increasing all the time. Governments are finding it difficult to balance the health care budget. Should citizens be totally responsible for their own health costs and take out private health insurance, or is it better to have a comprehensive health care system which provides free health services for all? Discuss v.1

The costs of medical health care are increasing all the time. Governments are finding it difficult to balance the health care budget. Should citizens be totally responsible for their own health costs and take out private health insurance, or is it better to have a comprehensive health care system which provides free health services for all? Discuss v. 1
The controversy surrounding the costs of medical health care is something that has been around for a few decades, and so far, it has seemed impossible to find common ground on the matter with each country adopting the measures that best suit them. While some choose to make the people responsible for their own medical costs others believe that the it is the government that should assume the costs of such needs regardless of the economic status of the person involved. Firstly, one must take into ponderation how much money will the state require to support a free health system for everyone, and also take certain theories into account that may cause the amount of cost to increase. For example, now that the patients don’t need to pay for their medical service it is more probable that they will begin to seek professional medical assistant more frequently. On the other hand, one must also consider the lack of humanity that lies on not treating a patient because one cannot afford the bill. Secondly, a patient that is responsible for its own health costs is most certain to get an insurance. Therefore, the government is likely to profit from its payment in the first years while in the latter years of the person’s life is more likely to have debt caused by the weaker physical state the insured person is in. In conclusion, a person can only be responsible for its own health care services if one possesses a job to pay for them and to own the costs of the insurance. But, this being the case it should also be the government responsibility to guarantee each person has a proper job that allows them to owe such expenses. However, if that is not that case and it is impossible to create circumstances for each individual to earn enough money to pay for their medical bills and make sure the insurance companies still obtain profit. In that case, the option of the state providing an understanding health care system is definitely something to be taken into account.
The controversy surrounding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care is something that has been around for a few decades, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far, it has seemed impossible to find common ground on the matter with each country adopting the measures that best suit them. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
responsible for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
others believe that
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "it"?
the it
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
that should assume the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
of such needs regardless of the economic status of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
involved.

Firstly
, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take into
Possible spelling mistake found.
ponderation
how much money will the state require to support a free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
system for everyone, and
also
take certain theories into account that may cause the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
to increase.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
that the patients don’t need to pay for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
service it is more probable that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to seek professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
assistant more
frequently
.
On the other hand
, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
consider the lack of humanity that lies on not treating a patient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one cannot afford the bill.

Secondly
, a patient
that is
responsible for its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
is most certain to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an insurance.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is likely to profit from its payment in the
first
years while in the latter years of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
life is more likely to have debt caused by the weaker physical state the insured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is in.

In conclusion
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be responsible for its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care services if one possesses a job to pay for them and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
of the insurance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, this being the case it should
also
be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
responsibility to guarantee each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has a proper job that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to owe such expenses.
However
, if
that is
not that case and it is impossible to create circumstances for each individual to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to pay for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
bills and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure the insurance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
still
obtain profit.
In that case
, the option of the state providing an understanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care system is definitely something to
be taken
into account.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The costs of medical health care are increasing all the time. Governments are finding it difficult to balance the health care budget. Should citizens be totally responsible for their own health costs and take out private health insurance, or is it better to have a comprehensive health care system which provides free health services for all? Discuss v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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