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Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. v. 5
There is no doubt that women are equally excelling in every field and are working hard for their career and at the same time take responsibility of the home. However, some argue that they should look after their home and children. I support the former view and in this essay, I will present some examples and arguments to support my belief. To begin with, gender should not be considered while giving an opportunity to an individual, because everyone has some special skills and intelligent level. This individual will be working based on his or her excellence and not on the gender. For instance, while recruiting a person for managerial role, individual's skills should be taken into account, and the sex. The Times survey from last year shows that ladies are perfectly and more capable for managerial profile as compared to men. Secondly, women are always skilled at multitasking. They can easily handle responsibilities and their duties towards home and work. They are close children, even if they are working, because they know how to handle and pamper their child as compared to men. Force Magazine published a paper on how powerful working women are. In past, ladies were discriminated and often denied from doing most of the jobs. However, these days, ladies are working and making remarkable achievements in each area. To conclude, if ladies are given equal opportunities, then they can show their skills and come up with the flying colours in any field they work. I strongly feel that gender should not be an issue to show perfection.
There is no doubt that women are
equally
excelling in every field and are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for their career and at the same time take responsibility of the home.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that they should look after their home and children. I support the former view and in this essay, I will present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
examples and arguments to support my belief.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, gender should not
be considered
while giving an opportunity to an individual,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and intelligent level. This individual will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
based on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
excellence and not on the gender.
For instance
, while recruiting a person for managerial role, individual's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
should
be taken
into account, and the sex. The Times survey from last year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ladies
are
perfectly
and more capable for managerial profile as compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

Secondly
, women are always skilled at multitasking. They can
easily
handle responsibilities and their duties towards home and work. They are close children, even if they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know how to handle and pamper their child as compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. Force Magazine published a paper on how powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
women are.
Did you mean: "In the past"?
In past
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ladies
were discriminated
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
denied from doing most of the jobs.
However
, these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ladies
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and making remarkable achievements in each area.

To conclude
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ladies
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equal opportunities, then they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with the flying
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
in any field they work. I
strongly
feel that gender should not be an issue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
perfection.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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