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Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment in essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.1

Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment in essential to control violence in society. with this opinion? v. 1
Nowadays, the crime rate is accelerating, according to many surveys. To rein this situation, there should be a mechanism in place like jail for a lifetime and death penalty based on the severity of the crime. The government should enforce such laws to create a high alert around the society and endorse a secure ruling to its people. Many incidents are the best examples of imbalanced society values in the recent days. Those are like killing someone's own mother or a plan to murder the best friend due to immaturity. If there is no mechanism to stop such kind of incidents would severely impact the society livelihood. Hence, capital punishment is mandatory to implicate a fear among the people who create such violence and which ensures the peaceful life of innocent people. In fact, I believe the death penalty is the only way to punish the criminals as they commit serious crimes which directly aid in controlling the violence at least to some extent. For instance, recently a group of five men brutally raped and murdered a woman in the broad daylight. Due to that, the high court had punished death penalty to that group which has created a sensation as the capital punishment is very rare in my country and social volunteers said the crime rate is gradually decreasing after that incident. Thus, violence is effectively controlled if the capital punishment is endorsed by a society. In some society, the crime is so violent and severer that the government and the law enforcing authority have to handle that strictly. As a result, they do not have any alternative other than imposing capital punishment. Capital punishment gives a message that you won’t be given any second chance if you commit a serious crime like murdering someone. This message is strongly needed in some society to control the crime rate. Without capital punishment, you can’t ensure that the same criminal won’t commit the crime again. You can’t actually control the crime and severe lawbreaking with the minor punishment in all of the countries. The theme that someone who murdered another human will regret someday and after a few years would lead a dignified and free life when the relatives and family members of the victim would remorse forever. What punishment do you have in your mind if someone is a psychopathic killer and is out of redemption? Minor punishment and reformation facility? This does not just make sense. To summarise, capital punishment is important to bring down the crime ratio and to also provide the secured life. Otherwise, ambience in the society will disturb which is not recommended for the common man. Hence, it is advisable to imply such punishment which leads a peaceful life with less violence in these days and also in the future.
Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate is accelerating, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
surveys. To rein this situation, there should be a mechanism in place like jail for a lifetime and death penalty based on the severity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should enforce such laws to create a high alert around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and endorse a secure ruling to its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
incidents are the best examples of imbalanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
values in the recent days. Those are like killing someone's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mother or a plan to murder the best friend due to immaturity.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
there is no mechanism to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
such kind of incidents would
severely
impact the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
livelihood.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is mandatory to implicate a fear among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who create such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
and which ensures the peaceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In fact, I believe the death penalty is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to punish the criminals as they commit serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
which
directly
aid in controlling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
at least to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
For instance
, recently a group of five
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
brutally
raped and murdered a woman in the broad daylight. Due to that, the high court had punished death penalty to that group which has created a sensation as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rare in my country and social volunteers said the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate is
gradually
decreasing after that incident.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
is
effectively
controlled if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is endorsed
by a society.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
violent and severer that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the law enforcing authority
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
handle that
strictly
.
As a result
, they do not have any alternative other than imposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
gives a message that you won’t be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
any second chance if you commit a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
like murdering someone. This message is
strongly
needed in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
, you can’t ensure that the same criminal won’t commit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
again. You can’t actually control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and severe lawbreaking with the minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
in
Consider using "all the".
all of the
countries. The theme that someone who murdered another human will regret someday and after a few years would lead a dignified and free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
when the relatives and family members of the victim would remorse forever. What
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
do you have in your mind if someone is a psychopathic killer and is out of redemption? Minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
and reformation facility? This does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sense.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to bring down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
ratio and to
also
provide the secured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Otherwise
, ambience in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
will disturb which is not recommended for the common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
Hence
, it is advisable to imply such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
which leads a peaceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in these days and
also
in the future.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment in essential to control violence in society. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
465 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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