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"Prevention is better than cure. "Out of country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures. v.24

"Prevention is better than cure. "Out of country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures. v. 24
Keeping home and workplace spic and span is indispensable. Although some argue it is not necessary to retain things in their original place, I, however, believe it is integral to keep home and working environment neat and clean for two reasons. One concern in terms of retaining office and house tidy is better concentration it offers. If the workplace is neat and clean, an employee working there can concentrate attentively without any distractions. As a result, an employee can be deterred to give attention to unnecessary things, which could impair their workability. For instance, a person who is working as an accountant in an organization tends to perform his duties efficiently if the ambience of an office is neat and clean. Organising things in a proper manner are imperative. As it helps save time as well as energy. It can be seen that often people forget where they last kept the document. So in an emergency situation, they have to search for such an official document, which can trigger stress and high blood pressure if they fail to find documentaries. Moreover, it could affect their mood owing to this they get irritated with their colleagues and family members. In contrast, if the documents are organized at the place where they should be, it assists staff members to remember and locate it properly In conclusion, not only does employee concentrate properly at their workplace, but also help save time and energy by maintaining documents in the correct place and keeping job place tidy. Therefore, I agree that keeping the workplace and home neat and clean is important.
Keeping home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
spic and span is indispensable. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue it is not necessary to retain things in their original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, I,
however
, believe it is integral to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
home and working environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neat
and clean for two reasons.

One concern in terms of retaining office and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
tidy is better concentration it offers. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neat
and clean, an employee working there can concentrate
attentively
without any distractions.
As a result
, an employee can
be deterred
to give attention to unnecessary things, which could impair their workability.
For instance
, a person who is working as an accountant in an organization tends to perform his duties
efficiently
if the ambience of an office is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neat
and clean.

Possible spelling mistake. 'Organising' is British English.
Organising
things
Consider replacing "in a proper manner" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper manner
are imperative. As it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
save time
as well
as energy. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
forget where they last
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
document
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in an emergency situation, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
search for such an official
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
document
, which can trigger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and high blood pressure if they fail to find documentaries.
Moreover
, it could affect their mood owing to this they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
irritated with their colleagues and family members.
In contrast
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
documents
are
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organize' and 'organise') within a single text.
organized
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where they should be, it assists staff members to remember and locate it
properly


In conclusion
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does employee concentrate
properly
at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
save time and energy by maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
documents
in the correct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
and keeping job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
tidy.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that keeping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
and home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neat
and clean is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay "Prevention is better than cure. "Out of country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures. v. 24

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
266 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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