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Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with thís opinion? v.7

Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. with thís opinion? v. 7
The more crimes of violence have, the less secure we have. Therefore, capital punishment is a necessary method to control cruelty in society and keep the better life. Nowaday, there are many cases about violent felonies. Those are killing someome to get their assets or plan to murder the relatives due to conflict. If there are no way to stop such kind of incidents, it will affect to the society livelihood. Hence, capital punishment is essential to condemn people who create these savage actions. Besides, I think that the death penalty is the only way to punish the criminals as they commit felony. For instance, a men brutally raped and murdered a baby girl who was only 11 years old in Japan. In addition, a comedian Vietnam was sentenced to sexual abuse with boys. These dehumanizing actions directly affect to victims in body and spirit. So capital punishment, the highest penalty, is strongly need to reduce, eliminate crimes who can' t not educated. Another benefit of the death penalty is save the budget to keep prisons working. Fund which were used to educate criminal, to pay for polices, refreshman, eletricity…were very high. If the government pay money to take care of people who should be death, they will lose lots of money meaninglessly. Therefore, capital punishment is a good way to save the budget. The government can use that money to improve economic or advance awarness of people. To summarise, capital punishment is important to decrease the crime rate and to procide the secrured life. Without it, we have to use excessive violence to limit the violence. It will not safe for everybody.
The more crimes of violence have, the less secure we have.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is a necessary method to control cruelty in society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the better life.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowaday
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases about violent felonies. Those are killing
Possible spelling mistake found.
someome
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their assets or plan to murder the relatives due to conflict. If there are no way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
such kind of incidents, it will affect to the society livelihood.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is essential to condemn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
create these savage actions.

Besides
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the death penalty is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to punish the criminals as they commit felony.
For instance
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
brutally
raped and murdered a baby girl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
11 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
in Japan.
In addition
, a comedian Vietnam
was sentenced
to sexual abuse with boys. These dehumanizing actions
directly
affect to victims in body and spirit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
, the highest penalty, is
strongly
Consider using a past participle here: "needed".
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
, eliminate crimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t not educated.

Another benefit of the death penalty is
The word "save" is a verb. Did you mean the adjective "safe"?
save
the budget to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
prisons working. Fund which were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to educate criminal, to pay for polices,
Possible spelling mistake found.
refreshman
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
eletricity
…were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
pay money to take care of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
should be death, they will lose lots of money
meaninglessly
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to save the budget. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
economic or advance
Possible spelling mistake found.
awarness
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to decrease the crime rate and to
Possible spelling mistake found.
procide
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
secrured
life. Without it, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
excessive violence to limit the violence. It will not
The word "safe" is an adjective. Did you mean the verb "save"?
safe
for everybody.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. with thís opinion? v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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