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With the rapid advancement of communication technology: smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.2

With the rapid advancement of communication technology: smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. v. 2
In this day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on the phenomenon that it is no doubt that the convenience of innovative devices offers opportunities for human life, whereas some people oppose this due the detrimental effects of social. In my views, the benefits should overshadow than the drawbacks of these intelligent devices. On the other hand, this trend has some harmful effects of using smart gadgets in communicating is that people tend to use it too much and forget about the real conversation in favour of talking with another face to face, which results in the isolating people and discouraging real interaction. For example, many young people choose to make friends online rather than blending with their peers ịn the reality of life. To be more specific, these virtual relationships are a poor substitute for pure friendships. On the other hand, these developments can be extremely positive, cooperation between people in different countries was much more difficult when communication was limited to written via letters or telegrams. Nowadays, interacting by email, phone or video is almost as good as these relations, either in work or social contexts. As the result, they can save more time and money to do other crucial works of their business. Furthermore, many mobile phones and computer now are easily connecting with social media through Facebook. As that results, people are convenient to make new friends and find people who share common interests, and they can contact through their own technological devices rather than person to person In conclusion, although cutting-edge technologies bring us numerous advantages, it is true that the communication ability of people will improve if they restrict their usage of portable devices as well as other mobile devices.
In this day and age, more and more contemporary attention has
been placed
on the phenomenon that it is no doubt that the convenience of innovative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
offers opportunities for human life, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
oppose this due the detrimental effects of social. In my views, the benefits should overshadow than the drawbacks of these intelligent devices.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
harmful effects of using smart gadgets in communicating is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it too much and forget about the real conversation in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of talking with another face to face, which results in the isolating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and discouraging real interaction.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends online
rather
than blending with their peers
Possible spelling mistake found.
ịn
the reality of life. To be more specific, these virtual relationships are a poor substitute for pure friendships.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, these developments can be
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
, cooperation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries was much more difficult when communication
was limited
to written via letters or telegrams. Nowadays, interacting by email, phone or video is almost as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as these relations, either in work or social contexts. As the result, they can save more time and money to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
crucial works of their business.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
mobile phones and computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are
easily
connecting with social media through Facebook. As that results,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are convenient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends and find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who share common interests, and they can contact through their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
rather
than person to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
person


In conclusion
, although cutting-edge technologies bring us numerous advantages, it is true that the communication ability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
if they restrict their usage of portable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay With the rapid advancement of communication technology: smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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