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With the rapid advancement of communication technology: : smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree? To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

With the rapid advancement of communication technology: : smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. v. 1
Recently, the advent and popularity of cutting-edge communication technology has unfolded the possibility of connecting people from different places around the world, which engenders public opposing ideas of whether the drawbacks of such devices would eclipse the benefits. In my opinion, I completely agree with that statement. Still, there are certainly several values that new lines of mobile phones and tablets bring to users. Firstly, those are considered a powerful facilitator of communication. In fact, many breakthroughs in the industry of technology, such as the introduction of I-phone, have empowered people to conveniently keep in touch with friends and relatives regardless of geographic adversities. Secondly, such technological development is a threshold of a new world where people are connected in a global network, which provides them with opportunities to meet people of diverse backgrounds and personalities. Compared to the past, modern people now could easily get to know people, even transcontinentally, with only a small device such as a cell phone. However, I suppose that the repercussions of this advancement should be paid more attention to. As people rely too much on tablets or mobile phones, there would be a high chance of them losing the ability to effectively interact with each other in real life. More dangerously, addiction and aggression might be the price that people had to pay if they did not refrain from using new appealing applications and games. Unfortunately, many incidents resulting in a few casualties have been reported when players are too engrossed in their games, especially after the release of Pokemon-Go. This might be a strong basis for the belief that those devices would do more harm than good. In conclusion, I believe that the downsides of contemporary technological development might be more significant than the benefits.
Recently, the advent and popularity of cutting-edge communication technology has unfolded the possibility of connecting
people
from
different
places around the world, which engenders public opposing
ideas
of whether the drawbacks of such devices would eclipse the benefits. In my opinion, I completely
agree
with that statement.

Still
, there are
certainly
several values that new lines of mobile phones and tablets bring to users.
Firstly
, those
are considered
a powerful facilitator of communication. In fact,
many
breakthroughs in the industry of technology, such as the introduction of I-phone, have empowered
people
to
conveniently
keep
in touch with friends and relatives regardless of geographic adversities.
Secondly
, such technological development is a threshold of a new world where
people
are connected
in a global network, which provides them with opportunities to
meet
people
of diverse backgrounds and personalities. Compared to the past, modern
people
now
could
easily
get
to know
people
, even
transcontinentally
, with
only
a
small
device such as a cell phone.

However
, I suppose that the repercussions of this advancement should
be paid
more attention to. As
people
rely too much on tablets or mobile phones, there would be a high chance of them losing the ability to
effectively
interact with each other in real life. More
dangerously
, addiction and aggression might be the price that
people
had to pay if they did not refrain from using new appealing applications and games. Unfortunately,
many
incidents resulting in a few casualties have
been reported
when players are too engrossed in their games,
especially
after the release of Pokemon-Go. This might be a strong basis for the belief that those devices would do more harm than
good
.

In conclusion
, I believe that the downsides of contemporary technological development might be more significant than the benefits.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay With the rapid advancement of communication technology: : smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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