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Some people say that we do not need printed newspaper any more. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.1

Some people say that we do not need printed newspaper any more. with this opinion? v. 1
Several people anticipate that publication of printed materials should come to a halt due to the emergence of computer-based reading habit. As far as I am concerned, such a trend is inevitable. Firstly, the utmost advantages in terms of costs render printed publications far eclipsed by digital versions. For instance, instead of buying many with various contents, different press agencies, just by a click to search on the Internet, users can access a rich range of reading resources with various contents, many of which are free or cost little. Besides, cutting large expenses on printing or shipping incurred by conventional printing, digitalized publications are substantially economical, granting readers more opportunities to afford quality reading materials at reasonable prices. Secondly, it is the convenience of digitalized materials that may persuade readers to halt their traditional reading habit. Indeed the availability of thousands of documents, provided domestically and internationally without geographical constraints could bring users unlimited choices and encourage them to read on electronic devices more regularly. Moreover promptness of news updates through e-materials would help individuals keep abreast of the latest news substantially quicker than traditional ones. Finally, rising awareness of preserving the global environment also plays a role in the imminent elimination of printed materials. To specify, readers over the globe switch to device-based reading as they hope to contribute to reducing logging activities for wood, which would be continued in parallel with demands for printed materials. Therefore, the contemporary reading habit on gadgets is also considered as a meaningful and eco-friendly substitution for the conventional habit. In conclusion, due to complete advantages of reading on high-tech devices over the habit of reading printed materials, publication of printed versions would seem unnecessary in the future.
Several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
anticipate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
publication
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a halt due to the emergence of computer-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
. As far as I
am concerned
, such a trend is inevitable.

Firstly
, the utmost advantages in terms of costs render
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
publications
far eclipsed by digital versions.
For instance
,
instead
of buying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
with various contents,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
press agencies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by a click to search on the Internet, users can access a rich range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
resources with various contents,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of which are free or cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
.
Besides
, cutting large expenses on printing or shipping incurred by conventional printing, digitalized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
publications
are
substantially
economical, granting readers more opportunities to afford quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
at reasonable prices.

Secondly
, it is the convenience of digitalized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
that may persuade readers to halt their traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Indeed
the availability of thousands of documents, provided
domestically
and
internationally
without geographical constraints could bring users unlimited choices and encourage them to read on electronic devices more
regularly
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
promptness of news updates through e-materials would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
abreast of the latest news
substantially
quicker than traditional ones.

Finally
, rising awareness of preserving the global environment
also
plays a role in the imminent elimination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
. To specify, readers over the globe switch to device-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
as they hope to contribute to reducing logging activities for wood, which would
be continued
in parallel with demands for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
.
Therefore
, the contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
on gadgets is
also
considered as a meaningful and eco-friendly substitution for the conventional habit.

In conclusion
, due to complete advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
on high-tech devices over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
publication
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
versions would seem unnecessary in the future.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some people say that we do not need printed newspaper any more. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
285 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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