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With the passage of time world has become smaller village. what do you think about that it is it positive or negative development? v.1

With the passage of time world has become smaller village. what do you think about that it is it positive or negative development? v. 1
There is no denying factor that as time passes the world turning into small villages. I think it is a positive sign in following paragraphs, I will discuss about my point of view To commence with, there are multifarious factors which support the statement first and the foremost reason is Technology. It is spread as wildfire in every nook and corner of the world. For example, the media as well as the internet makes easy to get information about something and it helps in communication, especially Skype or WhatsApp with these apps it is easy to communicate with other people who lives in foreign countries. Moreover, mass media gives time to time information about current affairs like as sports, economy, politics of other countries threw newspapers, news channels, radio and television. As a result the distances amongst people have shortened by mass media and internet. Additional, travelling and tourism is also the reason for making world smaller villages to illustration, today visiting to another country is very easy by advanced mode of transportation such as aeroplane or private choppers. Therefore, tours also an aspect of Making the world smaller because when one visit other states as well as countries to gain knowledge about their culture and language by knowing this it will help them to communicate with the people who relates to the same culture last but not least to instance the other cause for that is with the passage of time learning Foreign language is trend in present scenario basically English language is more common language in the world. To conclude, as per my opinion, I think that it is a positive development for the world because it help pupils to make their bondings enough strong no matter if they are from the other reason of culture.
There is no denying factor that as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
passes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
turning into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
villages. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
in following paragraphs, I will
Did you mean simply "discuss my"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about my
point of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
view


To commence with, there are multifarious factors which support the statement
first
and the foremost reason is Technology. It
is spread
as wildfire in every nook and corner of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
For example
, the media
as well
as the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information about something and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in communication,
especially
Skype or WhatsApp with these apps it is easy to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "live"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
lives
in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Moreover
, mass media gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
information about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs like as sports, economy, politics of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
threw newspapers, news channels, radio and television.
As a result
the distances amongst
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have shortened by mass media and internet.

Additional, travelling and tourism is
also
the reason for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
smaller villages to illustration,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
visiting to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy by advanced mode of transportation such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplane' is British English.
aeroplane
or private choppers.
Therefore
, tours
also
an aspect of

Making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
smaller
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when one visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
states
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to gain knowledge about their culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
by knowing this it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to communicate with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "relate"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
relates
to the same culture last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least to instance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cause for
that is
with the passage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
learning

Foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is trend in present scenario
basically
English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is more common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in the world.

To conclude
, as per my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "helps"?
help
pupils to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
bondings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
strong no matter if they are from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reason of culture.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay With the passage of time world has become smaller village. what do you think about that it is it positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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