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Let’s talk about your home town or village: what kind of place is it? what’s the most interesting part of your town/village? what kind of jobs do the people in your town/village do? would you say it’s a good place to live? (why? ) v.1

Let’s talk about your home town or village: what kind of place is it? what’s the most interesting part of your town/village? what kind of jobs do the people in your town/village do? would you say it’s a good place to live? (why? ) v. 1
In the recent years, many families are sending their elderly relatives to nursing homes rather than taking care of them at family homes. This essay will highlight some of the benefits and drawbacks that have resulted from this switch. Looking at the positive ones, the most significant advantage of care homes is that they are well equipped to meet the demands of the elderly. For example, there are no stairs in nursing homes, and those which do, have stair lifts and elevators installed. This takes care of the mobility problem that the geriatrics often suffers from and thus not exacerbating the motion issue. Additionally, the staff’s that works in the nursing home are professionally trained to manage the needs of the geriatric's. These skills are rarely possessed by the family members. However, there are some drawbacks of nursing homes for elderly, the most obvious one of which is lack of the presence of loved ones. Although, friends and relatives can visit the care homes' residents, these visits can be infrequent, and loneliness is often the consequence. To make matters worse, it has been shown that those who are lonely are at a greater risk of depression and weak immunity. Furthermore, the residents of the nursing home are often surrounded by illness and death. Such an environment might result in curtailing the happiness and trigger severe depression. In conclusion, although care homes have specially-trained staff and are well equipped for taking care of the geriatric's, the drawbacks of loneliness and concomitant depression should also be taken into consideration.
In the recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families are sending their elderly relatives to nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
rather
than taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them at family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. This essay will highlight
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
benefits and drawbacks that have resulted from this switch.

Looking at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ones, the most significant advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
is that they are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well equipped
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demands of the elderly.
For example
, there are no stairs in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, and those which do, have stair lifts and elevators installed. This takes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the mobility problem that the geriatrics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
suffers from and
thus
not exacerbating the motion issue.
Additionally
, the staff’s that works in the nursing home are
professionally
trained to manage the needs of the geriatric's. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are rarely possessed by the family members.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
for elderly, the most obvious one of which is lack of the presence of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. Although, friends and relatives can visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
homes' residents, these visits can be infrequent, and loneliness is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the consequence. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
matters worse, it has
been shown
that those who are lonely are at a greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of depression and weak immunity.
Furthermore
, the residents of the nursing home are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
surrounded by illness and death. Such an environment might result in curtailing the happiness and trigger severe depression.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
have
specially
-trained staff and are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well equipped
for taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the geriatric's, the drawbacks of loneliness and concomitant depression should
also
be taken
into consideration.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Let’s talk about your home town or village: what kind of place is it? what’s the most interesting part of your town/village? what kind of jobs do the people in your town/village do? would you say it’s a good place to live? (why? ) v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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