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Nowadays there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. Some people think this situation has caused more problems than it has solved. What are your opinions on this? v.1

Nowadays there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. Some people think this situation has caused more problems than it has solved. What are your opinions on this? v. 1
More chances are opened for females more than in the past due to the development in people’s consciousness. Hence, I don’t agree with the given opinion because this alteration does have a lot of positive influences on our society. First and foremost, it makes women feel equal and respected mutually in our daily activities and particularly in many fields of studies and works. According to some scientific probes, male intelligence and physical strength work better than women’s. Hence, a woman should not be the person who invariably does all the housework and obey man. For instance, Tu Xuong’s wife must labour for her whole life, sacrificed her gorgeous ages to serve five children and so-called useless husband. Instead of looking down on women, we should esteem them because of their abilities and courage in studying or future ambition such as extremely studiousness, highly concentrating and the desire to affirm themselves. Moreover, the number of problems was caused by this change is not influential enough to concern. Initially, in marriages, women now entitles to coerce men into doing housework, although it is hard for men who must work consecutively, it is necessary to balance an individual’s life. Moreover, the number of problems was caused by this change is not influential enough to concern. Initially, in marriages, women now have a right to coerce men into doing housework, although it is hard for men who must work consecutively, it is necessary to balance an individual’s life. Perhaps there are some clumsinesses in working, but they are not abnormal, even with men. In conclusion, opportunities for women positively change the world that becomes more equal and respectful. Although there are some problems due to female deficiencies, they still qualify for living without constraints and demands.
More chances
are opened
for females more than in the past due to the development in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s consciousness.
Hence
, I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this alteration does have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influences on our society.

First
and foremost, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
feel equal and respected
mutually
in our daily activities and
particularly
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields of studies and works. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scientific probes, male intelligence and physical strength
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
.
Hence
, a woman should not be the person who
invariably
does all the housework and obey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
For instance
, Tu
Possible spelling mistake found.
Xuong
’s wife
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
for her whole life, sacrificed her gorgeous ages to serve five children and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called useless husband.
Instead
of looking down on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, we should esteem them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their abilities and courage in studying or future ambition such as
extremely
studiousness,
highly
concentrating and the desire to affirm themselves.

Moreover
, the number of problems
was caused
by this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is not influential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to concern.
Initially
, in marriages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
entitles to coerce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
into doing housework, although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
consecutively
, it is necessary to balance an individual’s life.
Moreover
, the number of problems
was caused
by this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is not influential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to concern.
Initially
, in marriages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have a right to coerce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
into doing housework, although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
consecutively
, it is necessary to balance an individual’s life. Perhaps there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
clumsinesses
in working,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are not abnormal, even with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

In conclusion
, opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
positively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the world that becomes more equal and respectful. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems due to female deficiencies, they
still
qualify for living without constraints and demands.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Nowadays there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. Some people think this situation has caused more problems than it has solved. What are your opinions on this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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