Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Chorleywood is a village near London whose population has increased steadily since the middle of the 19th century. The map below shows the development of the village. v.1

Chorleywood is a village near London whose population has increased steadily since the middle of the 19th century. The map below shows the development of the village. v. 1
In a highly competitive world, there are myriad adolescents who are migrating their abodes from countryside to study or work in the metropolitans. There are manifold causes responsible which will justify below. I opine that this trend has multifarious benefits outweigh its limitations. It has been increased incessantly. I am going to examine the merits and drawbacks in the forthcoming subsections. To embark with, there are various reasons responsible for it. First and foremost is that in cosmopolitans there are plethora vocation opportunities accessible for youngsters. Another is that most of the universities are located in cities. It is the big reason, because in towns high standard pedagogy bestowed to the youths. There are different modes of hauling available like train, buses and subways are all efficient and convenient. For example, In Punjab mostly juveniles have moved from suburbs to developing cities because there are so many amenities provided to them in contrast to the rural areas like entertainment pubs and clubs, educational and medical facilities. On the brighter side, there are several advantages of living in cities. Youngsters can make better career and gross aggrandize money as juxtaposed to the remote areas. They become independent as they do all household chores on their own. They can easily attain their goals with the assistance of sophisticated inculcation. On the downside, youth ravaged their culture and feel homesickness due to hectic lifestyle in metropolitans. Young masses face lot of health issues in cities due to pollution like high blood pressure, diabetes and many other ailments. For instance, a recent study it has been found that 50 percent adolescents suffers from severe afflictions due to industrial area which leads to air, water and noise contamination. In compendium, I would like to suggest that offspring life is more convenient in metropolitans but detrimental upshots of staying in towns cannot be neglected.
In a
highly
competitive world, there are myriad adolescents who are migrating their abodes from countryside to study or work in the metropolitans. There are manifold causes responsible which will justify below. I opine that this trend has multifarious benefits outweigh its limitations. It has
been increased
incessantly
. I am going to examine the merits and drawbacks in the forthcoming subsections.

To embark with, there are various reasons responsible for it.
First
and foremost is that in cosmopolitans there are plethora vocation opportunities accessible for youngsters. Another is that most of the universities
are located
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. It is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in towns high standard pedagogy bestowed to the youths. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
modes of hauling available like train, buses and subways are all efficient and convenient.
For example
, In Punjab
mostly
juveniles have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
from suburbs to developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
amenities provided to them
in contrast
to the rural areas like entertainment pubs and clubs, educational and medical facilities.

On the brighter side, there are several advantages of living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Youngsters can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better career and gross aggrandize money as juxtaposed to the remote areas. They become independent as they do all household chores on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. They can
easily
attain their goals with the assistance of sophisticated inculcation.

On the downside, youth ravaged their culture and feel homesickness due to hectic lifestyle in metropolitans. Young masses face
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
health issues in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
due to pollution like high blood pressure, diabetes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other ailments.
For instance
, a recent study it has
been found
that 50 percent adolescents suffers from severe afflictions due to industrial area which leads to air, water and noise contamination.

In compendium, I would like to suggest that offspring life is more convenient in metropolitans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
detrimental upshots of staying in towns cannot
be neglected
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Chorleywood is a village near London whose population has increased steadily since the middle of the 19th century. The map below shows the development of the village. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
308 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts