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With the increasing use of mobile phone and computer, the number of people who write letter has decreased. As a result, letter writing will disappear soon. Do you agree or disagree? How do you think letter writing is important？ v.2

With the increasing use of mobile phone and computer, the number of people who write letter has decreased. As a result, letter writing will disappear soon. How do you think letter writing is important？ v. 2
The progress of technology has been transforming our life since the Industrial Revolution. Besides bringing us time-saving machines, inevitably lead to the extinction of traditional products. For example, it is worried that the letter writing will eventually disappear because of the popularity of mobile phones and computers. Many people, including me, express concerns for the possibility that technological communications tools replace traditional letter writing for the following reasons. For one thing, it is the truth that computers and cell phones surpass letters in terms of efficiency. Compared with the post mails, which usually take several days or even weeks to arrive at their destinations, e-mails or text messages can be sent and received almost instantaneously. In this fast-paced modern world, such time consuming ways of communication as letters will definitely lose their grounds and be out of the market soon. For another, as citizens can talk through phones and see each other via videos on line, these new means of communications stand out in facilitating people’s emotional exchange and reducing misunderstandings. In comparison, individuals who are not excellent writers will have to struggle in expressing their feelings correctly, which is actually a demanding task for the majority of people. The result is that their enthusiasm for this traditional mode of interaction is iced. In spite of this, it is hardly possible to deny the importance of letter writing. In present society, the hustle and bustle of city life deprives citizens of the leisurely and casual mood to enjoy life. They suffer from great pressure from life and work. Letter writing turns out to be an excellent way for them to slow down their pace and attempt to record the beauty of their surroundings. Instead of the cold words, people can have enough time to think about the best word expressions and imagine the warmth and surprise the letter can bring to the receivers. Besides, writing paper mails help us to refine our handwriting, which is more often than not extremely poor as a direct result of the wide application of computers. Also, it has been proved that frequent letter writing improves a person’s ability of concentration. All these culminate in better performance in our study and work. Therefore, it is obvious that the letter writing would perish should no action be taken to preserve it. It is hoped that the government can work out due measures to revive the conventional way of communications.
The progress of technology has been transforming our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
since the Industrial Revolution.
Besides
bringing us time-saving machines,
inevitably
lead to the extinction of traditional products.
For example
, it
is worried
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
will
eventually
disappear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the popularity of mobile phones and computers.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, including me, express concerns for the possibility that technological communications tools replace traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
for the following reasons. For one thing, it is the truth that computers and cell phones surpass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letters
in terms of efficiency. Compared with the post mails, which
usually
take several days or even weeks to arrive at their destinations, e-mails or text messages can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
and received almost
instantaneously
. In this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced modern world, such time
Possible spelling mistake found.
consuming
ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letters
will definitely lose their grounds and be out of the market
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. For another, as citizens can talk through phones and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
each other via videos on line, these new means of communications stand out in facilitating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
emotional exchange and reducing misunderstandings.
In comparison
, individuals who are not excellent writers will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
struggle in expressing their feelings
correctly
, which is actually a demanding task for
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
majority
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The result is that their enthusiasm for this traditional mode of interaction
is iced
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this, it is hardly possible to deny the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
. In present society, the hustle and bustle of city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
deprives citizens of the
leisurely
and casual mood to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They suffer from great pressure from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and work.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Letter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
turns out to be an excellent way for them to slow down their pace and attempt to record the beauty of their surroundings.
Instead
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the best word expressions and imagine the warmth and surprise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
can bring to the receivers.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
paper mails
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to refine our handwriting, which is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than not
extremely
poor as a direct result of the wide application of computers.
Also
, it has
been proved
that frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
a person’s ability of concentration. All these culminate in better performance in our study and work.
Therefore
, it is obvious that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
would perish should no action
be taken


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
preserve it. It
is hoped
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can work out due measures to revive the conventional way of communications.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay With the increasing use of mobile phone and computer, the number of people who write letter has decreased. As a result, letter writing will disappear soon. How do you think letter writing is important？ v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
403 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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