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The crime rate nowadays in decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime Do you agree or disagree v.2

The crime rate nowadays in decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime v. 2
Technological revolution has helped in reducing the alarming crime trend by implementing new techniques in prevention and solving criminal cases. In my opinion, advancement in technology has proved to be most significant intervention to stop crime and yield better results in investigation. On the one hand, technology has proved to be the biggest contributor in reducing crime. This can be supported by many examples. For instance, It has been observed in UAE that with the installation of CCTV zone the crime rates are reduced by 50% over the period of 3 years. Furthermore, it is also believed that in many countries the police officers are equipped with high end tracking devices which resulted in taking right action before the crime can happen. In addition, recent report from World economic forum has mentioned that countries who have invested in technology has observed 30% less crime rates. On the other hand, research has shown that majority criminals are involved in crime due to unemployment and socio economic factors. Government has used technology in different ways in reducing the unemployment which further declined the crime rate. Firstly, it helped in industrialization and created more job opportunities. This has managed to fulfill the basic needs to the society to great extent. Secondly, It also helped in improving the education and skill set building courses to engage youth in productive direction. Admittedly, people who earn descent money and live satisfactory life are less inclined towards crime. To conclude, I strongly believe that technology has helped in crime prevention as well solving many criminal cases. This has not only given the safe environment to the society but also accelerated the economic growth.
Technological revolution has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in reducing the alarming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
trend by implementing new techniques in prevention and solving criminal cases. In my opinion, advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has proved to be
Did you mean "the most"?
most
significant intervention to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and yield better results in investigation.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has proved to be the biggest contributor in reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. This can
be supported
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
examples.
For instance
, It has
been observed
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the UAE".
in UAE
that with the installation of CCTV zone the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by 50% over the period of 3 years.
Furthermore
, it is
also
believed that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries the police officers
are equipped
with high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
tracking devices which resulted in taking right action
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
can happen.
In addition
, recent report from
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
World economic forum
has mentioned that countries who have invested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has observed 30% less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates.

On the other hand
, research has shown that majority criminals
are involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
due to unemployment and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
socio economic
factors.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways in reducing the unemployment which
further
declined the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate.
Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in industrialization and created more job opportunities. This has managed to fulfill the basic needs to the society to great extent.
Secondly
, It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in improving the education and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
set building courses to engage youth in productive direction.
Admittedly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who earn descent money and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
satisfactory life are less inclined towards crime.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
prevention
as well
solving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
criminal cases. This has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the safe environment to the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
accelerated the economic growth.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay The crime rate nowadays in decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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