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With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree? v.6

With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. v. 6
I completely disagree with this statement. Demand for coatings and gas are increasing nowadays. There are still areas where the supplies are yet to be discovered. Giving access to those resources will deteriorate the remaining resources and there will not be anything left for our future generation. It will produce a conflict between the countries who are trying to use them. Firstly, grease and gas are nonrenewable resources. If we exploit those resources which are yet to be discovered for our own use there won’t be any resources left for our future generation. In the current scenario usage of grease and gas are increasing and as years pass the demand will also increase. Therefore we should not allow anyone to un-wrap the left resources. They should be preserved and inherited to our future generation. In some countries like India there are no resources left to give them to their lineage. This situation aroused because the country didn’t use their resources wisely. Secondly, by giving the map for undiscovered resources it will raise conflicts between countries who are trying to claim them for their own demand. There are still places in this universe which are hidden from the modern world. Those places would have a lot of undiscovered resources, by discovering them, we may lead to encroachment of those areas and it will automatically disturb the natural habitat of those places. There will also be a quarrel between the super powers of the world in finding those places. This quarrel may also increase the possibility of a war. A precise example of these are the issues which are happening in countries like Iran and Iraq. To conclude, it's sometimes good not disclose some places of the world, we might save them and their resources from the hands of the people who are trying to waste them. Those grease and gas should be rightfully given to our children and grandchildren for their utilization.
I completely disagree with this statement. Demand for coatings and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
are increasing nowadays. There are
still
areas where the supplies are
yet
to
be discovered
. Giving access to those resources will deteriorate the remaining resources and there will not be anything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for our future generation. It will produce a conflict between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them.

Firstly
, grease and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
are nonrenewable resources. If we exploit those resources which are
yet
to
be discovered
for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
there won’t be any resources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for our future generation. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario usage of grease and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
are increasing and as years pass the demand will
also
increase.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
anyone to
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-wrap
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
resources. They should
be preserved
and inherited to our future generation. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like India there are no resources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to give them to their lineage. This situation aroused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their resources
wisely
.

Secondly
, by giving the map for undiscovered resources it will raise conflicts between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who are trying to claim them for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
demand. There are
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in this universe which
are hidden
from the modern world. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
undiscovered resources, by discovering them, we may lead to encroachment of those areas and it will
automatically
disturb the natural habitat of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. There will
also
be a quarrel between the super powers of the world in finding those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. This quarrel may
also
increase the possibility of a war. A precise example of these are the issues which are happening in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Iran and Iraq.

To conclude
, it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
not disclose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
of the world, we might save them and their resources from the hands of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are trying to waste them. Those grease and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
should be
rightfully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to our children and grandchildren for their utilization.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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