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some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.27

some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 27
It is an irrefutable fact that nowadays there are lots of cinema websites available online such as Netflix, Amazone prime and so on. Some people assert that watching the film at home is more comfortable, whereas others feel that theatre is the best option to enjoy movies. In my opinion, both sides have their own benefits and In this essay, I intend to discuss both sides before reasonable conclusion can be drawn. There are several reasons why people enjoy seeing movies in their home. Firstly, after a long hectic day, the person becomes tired and they don’t have enough power to watch The film with their family in the malls. Therefore, the film industries provides special paid subscriptions to those people that they can watch the recent videos with family members. Because of this, folks save their time and feel relaxed, pause the videotape whenever they want. According to the research of Netflix company found that the consumption of login data is more than as compared to cinema halls. On the contrary side, so many decades the trend of watching movies in cinema’s still remain same. In addition, people who like to go outside with the family, they always prefer the theatre. Because, they feel boring at staying home. Some of the super-hit movies are not easily available on online. It will take almost months or sometimes they charge extra money. For an example, the movie fast and furious is not available online subscribe site. Moreover, folks have to go outside and advance booking for those clips. To put in a nutshell, I pen down and say that seeing the latest movie At house and outside source, both have their own advantages. It depends on the generation which way they feel better.
It is an irrefutable fact that nowadays there are lots of cinema websites available online such as Netflix,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amazone
prime and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assert that watching the film at home is more comfortable, whereas others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
is the best option to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
. In my opinion, both sides have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and In this essay, I intend to discuss both sides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reasonable conclusion can
be drawn
.

There are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in their home.
Firstly
, after a long hectic day, the person becomes
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
tired and
they don’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
power to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
The film with their family in the malls.
Therefore
, the film industries provides special paid subscriptions to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the recent videos with family members.
Because of this
, folks save their time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
relaxed, pause the videotape whenever they want. According to the research of Netflix
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
found that the consumption of login data is more than as compared to cinema halls.

On the contrary
side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
decades the trend of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in cinema’s
still
remain same.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who like to go outside with the family, they always prefer the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
boring at staying home.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
super-hit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are not
easily
available on online. It will take almost months or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they charge extra money. For an example, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and furious is not available online subscribe site.
Moreover
, folks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go outside and advance booking for those clips.

To put in a nutshell, I pen down and say that seeing the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
At
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and outside source, both have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages. It depends on the generation which way they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
better.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 27

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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