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With the increased global demand in oil and gas undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree? v.3

With the increased global demand in oil and gas undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. v. 3
The unexplored reserves of fuel of the world should be enclosed in order to access more resources for the fulfilment of global dramatic crave towards oil and gas. I, however, disagree with this view. I believe that this can harm the living planet and as well as the gas may get vanished due to over consumption. To inaugurate, I think that they primarily contribute to global warming. The burning of ammunition and gases releases different type of harmful smokes of carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide etc. Which depletes the ozone layer of our planet. For instance, nowadays with the increment in usage of fossil fuel in our daily life the release of harmful smokes is high. These are leading to the warming of the globe and hence results in the melting of polar ice which has increased the sea level. In addition to this, being non-renewable resources the over consumption of fuel may lead to its disappearance. The reserves of fossil fuel are limited in the globe. They cannot be reproduced after its devour. To illustrate, the USA alone uses around 22% of the world's fuel and it would be difficult to meet the rising demand with the limited resources. To conclude, the overuse of fuels and gas may deteriorate the environment and may extinct if the crave goes up following this trend. Hence, I firmly disagree with this view.
The unexplored reserves of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
of the world should
be enclosed
in order to access more resources for the
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
of global dramatic crave towards oil and gas. I,
however
, disagree with this view. I believe that this can harm the living planet and
as well
as the gas may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
vanished due to over consumption.

To inaugurate, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they
primarily
contribute to global warming. The burning of ammunition and gases releases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of harmful smokes of carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide etc.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
depletes the ozone layer of our planet.
For instance
, nowadays with the increment in usage of fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
in our daily life the release of harmful smokes is high. These are leading to the warming of the globe and
hence
results in the melting of polar ice which has increased the sea level.

In addition
to this, being non-renewable resources the over consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
may lead to its disappearance. The reserves of fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
are limited
in the globe. They cannot
be reproduced
after its devour. To illustrate, the USA alone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
around 22% of the world's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
and it would be difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the rising demand with the limited resources.

To conclude
, the overuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
and gas may deteriorate the environment and may extinct if
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'crave' is correct. If 'crave' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the crave
goes up following this trend.
Hence
, I
firmly
disagree with this view.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay With the increased global demand in oil and gas undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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