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With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree? v.1

With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. v. 1
Thanks largely to our power-hungry lifestyles, we are running out of non-renewable energy sources at alarming speed. It is predicted that by the middle of this century, supplies will be dangerously low. One option would be to exploit pristine areas of wilderness where large oil and gas deposits remain. Whilst seeing the need for action, I share the concerns of conservationists, who oppose this so-called progress. Nobody could deny that something needs to be done to avert the looming energy crisis. Digging for oil in The Arctic might increase available energy stocks, giving experts time to create long-term solutions to our dependence on carbon-based fuels. This is vital because if gas and oil become scarce, many foresee a subsequent disruptive period of global instability and social unrest. If damaging a few areas of natural beauty enables us to avoid this nightmare scenario, the price might be worth paying. However, environmentalists point out just how high this price may be. Drilling for oil in areas of outstanding beauty could lead to the extinction of species and the disruption of lives. It would leave a permanent scar on the landscape, ruining it for future generations, who may not forgive our vandalism. Perhaps an even more salient point is that our current way of living is unsustainable. The globalised world would be incapable of functioning without non-renewable energy sources. Postponing the moment when the oil-wells finally run dry by mere decades is a short-term, short-sighted approach. We need to fundamentally re-assess our interaction with our environment. If we seek desperately-needed supplies of power in areas previously untouched by exploration, it must be done with care, causing the minimum damage possible. From my perspective, and that of any right-minded individual, it would be infinitely preferable to confront the underlying issue and make profound changes to the way we live.
Thanks
largely
to our power-hungry lifestyles, we are running out of non-renewable
energy
sources at alarming speed. It
is predicted
that by the middle of this century, supplies will be
dangerously
low. One option would be to exploit pristine
areas
of wilderness where large
oil
and gas deposits remain. Whilst seeing the need for action, I share the concerns of conservationists, who oppose this
so
-called progress.

Nobody could deny that something needs to
be done
to avert the looming
energy
crisis. Digging for
oil
in The Arctic might increase available
energy
stocks, giving experts time to create long-term solutions to our dependence on carbon-based fuels. This is vital
because
if gas and
oil
become scarce,
many
foresee a subsequent disruptive period of global instability and social unrest. If damaging a few
areas
of natural beauty enables us to avoid this nightmare scenario, the price might be worth paying.

However
, environmentalists point out
just
how high this price may be. Drilling for
oil
in
areas
of outstanding beauty could lead to the extinction of species and the disruption of
lives
. It would
leave
a permanent scar on the landscape, ruining it for future generations, who may not forgive our vandalism.

Perhaps an even more salient point is that our
current
way of living is unsustainable. The
globalised
world would be incapable of functioning without non-renewable
energy
sources. Postponing the moment when the oil-wells
finally
run dry by mere decades is a short-term, short-sighted approach. We need to
fundamentally
re-assess our interaction with our environment.

If we seek
desperately
-needed supplies of power in
areas
previously untouched by exploration, it
must
be done
with care, causing the minimum damage possible. From my perspective, and that of any right-minded individual, it would be
infinitely
preferable to confront the underlying issue and
make
profound
changes
to the way we
live
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
305 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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