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More and more people are buying a wide range of household goods. Do you think it is a negative or positive development? v.2

More and more people are buying a wide range of household goods. Do you think it is a negative or positive development? v. 2
Nowadays, many people are purchasing verity of household items such as television, microwave oven and rice cooker to make a use of latest technology. I feel, it is a great achievement as the world is becoming smaller, there is a huge demand for such products in each individual’s life. But it is not necessary to adopt all of them. Firstly, Use of emerging automation has become common in the 21st century, even middle class family can now afford all the necessary household products, they are not only considerably cheaper, but also time efficient. Buying such products brings a sense of comfort in our lives, for example, an electric kettle that I had purchased few days back, made my life much easier, I can now prepare my tea within few seconds. All I have to do is just, pour some water into the kettle and turn on the switch, once the water is at boiling point it automatically goes off. Secondly, as long as I'm concerned, as machinery is increasing our expectations are also growing. We are becoming lazier, we don’t want to work-hard, our dependency on technology is ruining our healthy lifestyle. Moreover, we don’t even need to move from our resting place and we can operate all these machines through Wi-Fi. According to a research, automation is a major cause of obesity. Nonetheless, everything comes at a cost. I suggest, we should always keep a balance in our life. I feel, we should take a step forward to make this change, one-way it's possible is by not buying unnecessary items. For example, a dishwasher is something that is not necessary, if we maintain a good habit of washing our utensils right after its use. However, in conclusion, exposure to the latest technology is a great deal but has to be adopted in our convenient, not to harm ourselves.
Nowadays,
many
people
are purchasing verity of household items such as television, microwave oven and rice cooker to
make
a
use
of
latest
technology. I feel, it is a great achievement as the world is becoming smaller, there is a huge demand for such products in each individual’s life.
But
it is not necessary to adopt all of them.

Firstly
,
Use
of emerging automation has become common in the 21st century, even middle
class
family can
now
afford all the necessary household products, they are not
only
considerably
cheaper,
but
also
time efficient. Buying such products brings a sense of comfort in our
lives
,
for example
, an electric kettle that I had
purchased
few days back, made my life much easier, I can
now
prepare my tea within few seconds. All I
have to
do is
just
, pour
some
water into the kettle and turn on the switch, once the water is at boiling point it
automatically
goes off.

Secondly
, as long as I'm concerned, as machinery is increasing our expectations are
also
growing. We are becoming lazier, we don’t want to work-
hard
, our dependency on technology is ruining our healthy lifestyle.
Moreover
, we don’t even need to
move
from our resting
place and
we can operate all these machines through Wi-Fi. According to a research, automation is a major cause of obesity.

Nonetheless, everything
comes
at a cost. I suggest, we should always
keep
a balance in our life. I feel, we should take a step forward to
make
this
change
, one-way it's possible is by not buying unnecessary items.
For example
, a dishwasher is something
that is
not necessary, if we maintain a
good
habit of washing our utensils right after its
use
.
However
,
in conclusion
, exposure to the latest technology is a great deal
but
has to
be adopted
in our convenient, not to harm ourselves.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people are buying a wide range of household goods. Do you think it is a negative or positive development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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