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With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree? v.2

With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. v. 2
With the increased globalisation, there has been a rapid development happening all across the globe at the cost of high consumption of oil and gas. This has resulted in depletion of natural resources and also caused several types of pollution. I think, instead of consuming only natural fuel and gas, we should look forward to undiscovered areas of the world to access more resources that are more environment friendly. Natural resources like solar, water and wind should be given priority above oil and gas because it does not leave any harmful byproducts. Moreover, aforementioned resources are available in abundance and can meet up our high demand for a longer period of time as compared to oil and gas. In addition, consumption of nature friendly resources will help in reducing global warming that is responsible for melting of glaciers. A recent study from the international climate change committee has specifically stated that high consumption of fuels derived from petroleum have been the main cause of the green house effect and dependence on such resources should be curtailed as soon as possible. Undiscovered areas of Middle Africa are blessed with over exposure of solar energy. A research in this area would open up doors for everlasting energy that can help in uplifting social and economical condition of this continent. Efforts made is this field would encourage other countries as well to to look for other options than petroleum and gas in their respective places. If governments can work together to find other natural resources all around the globe doesn’t it seem quite obvious that we will be able to get rid of the global warming in the near future? Yes, it surely does. To conclude, I firmly believe that the earth has abundance of other resources than oil and gas, and we should definitely seek undicoverd places to unlock our ever increasing demand in the energy sector. I am sanguine, we will reap uncompared benefits of the eco friendly resources in coming future to keep climatic problems at bay.
With the increased
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, there has been a rapid development happening all across the globe at the cost of high consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
. This has resulted in depletion of natural resources and
also
caused several types of pollution. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
instead
of consuming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
natural fuel and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
, we should look forward to undiscovered areas of the world to access more resources that are more environment friendly.

Natural resources like solar, water and wind should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
priority above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
any harmful byproducts.
Moreover
, aforementioned resources are available in abundance and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
up our high demand for a longer period of time as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
.
In addition
, consumption of nature friendly resources will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reducing global warming
that is
responsible for melting of glaciers.

A recent study from the international climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
committee has
specifically
stated that high consumption of fuels derived from petroleum have been the main cause of the green
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
effect and dependence on such resources should
be curtailed
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. Undiscovered areas of Middle Africa
are blessed
with over exposure of solar energy.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
A research
in this area would open up doors for everlasting energy that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in uplifting social and economical condition of this continent. Efforts made is this field would encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries
as well
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
look for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
options than petroleum and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
in their respective places. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can work together to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
natural resources all around the globe doesn’t it seem quite obvious that we will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of the global warming in the near future? Yes, it
surely
does.

To conclude
, I
firmly
believe that the earth has abundance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
resources than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
, and we should definitely seek
Possible spelling mistake found.
undicoverd
places to unlock our
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
demand in the energy sector. I am sanguine, we will reap
Possible spelling mistake found.
uncompared
benefits of the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
eco friendly
resources in coming future to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
climatic problems at bay.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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