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Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the advantages and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places v.22

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the advantages and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places v. 22
At the moment, there is a rise in the rate at which visitors go to regions with extreme weather, for instance, the Sahara or the Antarctic. Tourists could have a fantastic adventure and gain knowledge, however, there are drawbacks to be taken into consideration as well. On the one hand, people's visit to areas of harsh atmospheric conditions could be advantageous. Firstly, they could enjoy the sight and also take pictures of some rare animals such as Camels in the Sahara and Penguins in the Antarctic. This would form a very remarkable part of their archives. Secondly, the visit to such areas could provide a means of gaining ample knowledge and experience of such environment. For instance, a student that has visited such locations before could decide to carry out a research based on the knowledge he gained from there. On the other hand, there are some negative aspects to tourists visiting regions with tough weather. One of the issues that could arise is that they might become seriously Ill as a result of the strange environmental effect or even pick up some deadly diseases. Another downside to the tourists is that they might eventually not get to enjoy their stay, as the outdoor condition could confine them to their room. This means money and time has been wasted. In conclusion, despite the positive aspects of visiting places with unbearable atmosphere, tourists could get sick and might not have as much fun as they desire.
At the moment, there is a rise in the rate at which visitors go to regions with extreme weather,
for instance
, the Sahara or the Antarctic.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourists
could have a fantastic adventure and gain knowledge,
however
, there are drawbacks to
be taken
into consideration
as well
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's visit to areas of harsh atmospheric conditions could be advantageous.
Firstly
, they could enjoy the sight and
also
take pictures of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rare animals such as Camels in the Sahara and Penguins in the Antarctic. This would form a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
remarkable part of their archives.
Secondly
, the visit to such areas could provide a means of gaining ample knowledge and experience of such environment.
For instance
, a student that has visited such locations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
could decide to carry out
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
based on the knowledge he gained from there.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visiting regions with tough weather. One of the issues that could arise is that they might become
seriously
Ill
as a result
of the strange environmental effect or even pick up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
deadly diseases. Another downside to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
is that they might
eventually
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to enjoy their stay, as the outdoor condition could confine them to their room. This means money and time has
been wasted
.

In conclusion
, despite the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of visiting places with unbearable atmosphere,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick and might not have as much fun as they desire.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the advantages and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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