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Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do you agree or disagree? v.4

Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. v. 4
Some people believe that it is unnecessary to eat meat to stay healthy. I totally agree with the idea of becoming vegetarian. On the one hand, a portion without meat is also beneficial for people’s health. Firstly, the nutrition in vegetarian food not only provides adequate necessary energy, but also offers a variety of vitamins for people’s healthy development. For example, while tofu contains a lot of protein which will be transferred into sustenance after digestion, the vitamin C in oranges helps people to strengthen the disease resistance. Secondly, vegetables and fruits are obviously less fat than meat, this will help people to stay fit and get rid of obesity. Therefore, almost vegetarians might not be infected with the illnesses which relates overweight. On the second hand, people should become vegetarian because of several reasons. Every day, the livestock industry is releasing a large amount of waste, almost odd animal’s organs such as heads, bones, or skins will be dumped into the landfills after being killed to get meat. Becoming vegetarian is a way of reducing the waste meat, thus, we could protect our clean environment which is very important for the human well-being. Furthermore, I believe that every species has the rights to live in natural way. The livestock industry somehow leads to the fact of animal abuse which always makes people shock and has the sense of guilty. For instance, the gooses have been suffered from overeating to be fat enough, in order to provide good quality organs for human’s food. For that reason, animal’s meat should not be a part of our portion. In conclusion, I believe that following the trend of being vegetarian is necessary because of its beneficial reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is unnecessary to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
to stay healthy. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of becoming vegetarian.

On the one hand, a portion without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
is
also
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health.
Firstly
, the nutrition in vegetarian food not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provides adequate necessary energy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
offers a variety of vitamins for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
healthy development.
For example
, while tofu contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
protein which will
be transferred
into sustenance after digestion, the vitamin C in oranges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to strengthen the disease resistance.
Secondly
, vegetables and fruits are
obviously
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay fit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of obesity.
Therefore
, almost vegetarians might not
be infected
with the illnesses which relates overweight.

On the second hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should become vegetarian
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several reasons. Every day, the livestock industry is releasing a large amount of waste, almost odd animal’s organs such as heads, bones, or skins will
be dumped
into the landfills after
being killed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
. Becoming vegetarian is a way of reducing the waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
,
thus
, we could protect our clean environment which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the human well-being.
Furthermore
, I believe that every species has the rights to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in natural way. The livestock industry somehow leads to the fact of animal abuse which always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
shock and has the sense of guilty.
For instance
, the gooses have
been suffered
from overeating to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, in order to provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality organs for human’s food. For that reason, animal’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
should not be a part of our portion.

In conclusion
, I believe that following the trend of being vegetarian is necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its beneficial reasons
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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