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With the help of the Internet and television many people are becoming famous. Is this a positive or a negative trend? v.1

With the help of the Internet and television many people are becoming famous. Is this a positive or a negative trend? v. 1
Nowadays, a great number of young people are looking for a career in the entertainment sector, especially on the Internet through social media or on television. The reason behind this trend lies in the fact that in the modern times people do not have to pose any actual talent in order to become famous as everything can be enhanced with the use of modern technology. However, my opinion is that this is not a positive trend as there are numerous risks involved in this method. On one hand, this trend, like every other before it, will most likely not last for decades, and after it ends, it will leave behind many unemployed people who sacrificed their possible careers in order to chase the dream of becoming internet or TV sensations. Furthermore, those people will be hard to adapt back to the lifestyles they had before the fame. And this has happened many times before. For instance, rock and roll was the most popular music genre during the eight decades of the last century and many people prospered from engaging in it. Unfortunately, when the new dancers wave took turns the decade after, most of the rockers fall into oblivion and a large number of them ended up with drug addiction as they were unable to cope with the changes. On the other hand, instant celebrities might have a detrimental effect on the youth, as they promote completely different values from the ones their parents have tough them. Moreover, the content published on the Internet is nearly impossible to censor and, thus, parents have hardly any control over what their children are exposed to. For example, certain influences have gained their popularity by being vulgar and publishing explicit materials online and the ones who are exposed to it might think that they do not need education not the respect toward traditional or cultural values in order to become successful. To conclude, in modern times there is no more efficient nor effective way of gaining popularity that through the use of social networks or television mainly because it assures fast results without great sacrifices. Despite of that, there are many negative aspects of it such as the uncertain future for the ones directly involved in this industry as well as for the ones exposed to it.
Nowadays, a great number of young
people
are looking for a career in the entertainment sector,
especially
on the Internet through social media or on television. The reason behind this trend lies in the fact that in the modern times
people
do not
have to
pose any actual talent in order to become
famous
as everything can
be enhanced
with the
use
of modern technology.
However
, my opinion is that this is not a
positive
trend as there are numerous
risks
involved in this method.

On one hand, this trend, like every other
before
it, will most likely not last for decades, and after it ends, it will
leave
behind
many
unemployed
people
who sacrificed their possible careers in order to chase the dream of becoming internet or TV sensations.
Furthermore
, those
people
will be
hard
to adapt back to the lifestyles they had
before
the fame. And this has happened
many
times
before
.
For instance
, rock and roll was the most popular music genre during the eight decades of the last century and
many
people
prospered from engaging in it. Unfortunately, when the new dancers wave took turns the decade after, most of the rockers fall into oblivion and
a large number of
them ended up with drug addiction as they were unable to cope with the
changes
.

On the other hand
, instant celebrities might have a detrimental effect on the youth, as they promote completely
different
values from the
ones
their parents have
tough
them.
Moreover
, the content published on the Internet is
nearly
impossible to censor and,
thus
, parents have hardly any control over what their children
are exposed
to.
For example
, certain influences have gained their popularity by being vulgar and publishing explicit materials online and the
ones
who
are exposed
to it might
think
that they do not need education not the respect toward traditional or cultural values in order to become successful.

To conclude
, in modern times there is no more efficient nor effective way of gaining popularity that through the
use
of social networks or television
mainly
because
it assures
fast
results without great sacrifices.
Despite of
that, there are
many
negative
aspects of it such as the uncertain future for the
ones
directly
involved in this industry
as well
as for the
ones
exposed to it.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay With the help of the Internet and television many people are becoming famous. Is this a positive or a negative trend? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
384 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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