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Bus Service Elimination Planned. . . . The university has decided to discontinue its free bus service for students. The reason given for this decision is that few students ride the buses and the buses are expensive to operate. Currently, the buses run from th v.1

Bus Service Elimination Planned. . . . The university has decided to discontinue its free bus service for students. The reason given for this decision is that few students ride the buses and the buses are expensive to operate. Currently, the buses run from th v. 1
Scholars have recently debated an issue of whether or not a foreign language should be taught in elementary school instead of higher level. There are, certainly, some consequences of teaching foreign language in primary school, both positive and negative results. These points of views will be elaborated through the following paragraphs. To begin with, scholars believe that understanding a foreign language in elementary school may contribute a more incredible communication skill of pupil in the future regarding their ability to catch up insight is incredibly fascinating during this period. This phenomenon is related to a fact that elementary school period is considered as “golden period” of pupils since their brain cells grow remarkably connecting one cell another in the whole brain hemisphere. Indonesian pupils, who learn English while they are in primary schools, for example, can speak English more fluently than those who do not get the same treatment at the same level. Despite, the gain, there can be a lack stumbling learning an international language in elementary schools. Teachers’ ability is the real example. Most of the teachers in primary schools are generalists and get used to deal with more general subjects in school. By asking them to teach foreign languages, English, for example, may be a difficulty in conveying knowledge over that such specific subject to students. And therefore, when entering higher level school, there will be a wide variety of students understanding in English and will lead to a problem of adjusting what particular topics should be given to students in the higher level. All in all, understanding foreign speaking in primary school can be achieved through maximising the golden period of students. However, the capability of teachers also must be considered in order to ensure the subject distributed well to students.
Scholars have recently debated an issue of
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
should
be taught
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
instead
of higher level. There are,
certainly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consequences of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
results. These points of views will
be elaborated
through the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, scholars believe that understanding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
may contribute a more incredible communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of pupil in the future regarding their ability to catch up insight is
incredibly
fascinating during this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
. This phenomenon
is related
to a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
is considered
as “golden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period”
of pupils since their brain cells grow
remarkably
connecting one cell another in the whole brain hemisphere. Indonesian pupils, who learn English while they are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
for example
, can speak English more
fluently
than those who do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the same treatment at the same level.

Despite, the gain, there can be a lack stumbling learning an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. Teachers’ ability is the real example. Most of the teachers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are generalists and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to deal with more general subjects in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. By asking them to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, English,
for example
, may be a difficulty in conveying knowledge over that such specific subject to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. And
therefore
, when entering higher level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, there will be a wide variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
understanding in English and will lead to a problem of adjusting what particular topics should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the higher level.

All in all, understanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
speaking in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can
be achieved
through
Possible spelling mistake. 'maximising' is British English.
maximising
the golden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
However
, the capability of teachers
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
in order to ensure the subject distributed well to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Bus Service Elimination Planned. . . . The university has decided to discontinue its free bus service for students. The reason given for this decision is that few students ride the buses and the buses are expensive to operate. Currently, the buses run from th v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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