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How often do you watch television? (Why/Why not? )Which television channel do you usually watch? (Why? )Do you enjoy the advertisements on television? (Why/Why not? )Do you think that most programmes on television are good? (Why/Why not? ) v.1

How often do you watch television? (Why/Why not? )Which television channel do you usually watch? (Why? )Do you enjoy the advertisements on television? (Why/Why not? )Do you think that most programmes on television are good? (Why/Why not? ) v. 1
Children are the pillars of society as the lives of future generations will one day lay in their hands. It is said courses about taking care of children should be mandatory for parents. I completely agree with this idea. The way parents nurture their children can affect the lives of other people too, as in today's modern world, families are the unbreakable blocks of community, in which one non-efficient block can harm other ones as well. For example, children who have not been taught social skills well, can lean to dysfunctional families in the future where they would ruin the life of their partner or future children and the number of endangered would grow progressively. Another reason coming to my mind regarding the fact that parent's education about growing a child should be compulsory is that nowadays, parents could not treat their children like how they were treated themselves by their parents as their lifestyles has changed a lot since the last few decades in a way which they do not spend enough time on doing research about raising children. This would increase their need for education to know exactly how to grow their children well enough to be a successful person. In conclusion, in my view, parents must be trained the ways of taking care of their children as it would decrease the chances of growing children who are harmful for society and would eliminate some concerns and stresses which would possibly come to parents when they are expecting a child.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are the pillars of society as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of future generations will one day lay in their hands. It
is said
courses about taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be mandatory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

The way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
nurture their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can affect the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
too, as in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern world, families are the unbreakable blocks of community, in which one non-efficient block can harm other ones
as well
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have not
been taught
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
well, can lean to dysfunctional families in the future where they would ruin the life of their partner or future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and the number of endangered would grow
progressively
.

Another reason coming to my mind regarding the fact that parent's education about growing a child should be compulsory is that nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could not treat their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
like how they
were treated
themselves by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as their lifestyles has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot since the last few decades in a way which they do not spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time on doing research about raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This would increase their need for education to know exactly how to grow their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to be a successful person.

In conclusion
, in my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be trained
the ways of taking care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as it would decrease the chances of growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are harmful for society and would eliminate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
concerns and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
which would
possibly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
when they are expecting a child.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay How often do you watch television? (Why/Why not? )Which television channel do you usually watch? (Why? )Do you enjoy the advertisements on television? (Why/Why not? )Do you think that most programmes on television are good? (Why/Why not? ) v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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