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With the growth of satellite and cable television, people in many countries can now watch television channels from all over the world. The programmes that these foreign television networks show have a harmful effect on the local cultures of these countrie v.1

With the growth of satellite and cable television, people in many countries can now watch television channels from all over the world. The programmes that these foreign television networks show have a harmful effect on the local cultures of these countrie v. 1
These days, modern people are suffering from the overpopulation and its consequences. In this regard, many people are willing to solve these problems as soon as possible. Furthermore, urbanization processes are leading to create numerous problems such as lack of the drinking water, shortage of energy resources and transportation. However, these challenges can be solved by the authorities, if they work efficiently and productively. On the one hand, it is true that one of the main problem which is created by the overcrowding is pollution, and these can lead to the other challenges such as global warming, climate change and melting ice. As a result, there are very dangerous for the surrounding world. Furthermore, overcrowding can create the shortage of natural resources such as water, gas and oil for the urban dwellers as well as for the suburban dwellers. To illustrate, many individuals are suffering from the shortage of natural gas in Astana. On the other hand, it is clear that the government can alleviate these challenges. They can develop city amenities and facilities in the suburban regions in order to emigrate the people. Moreover, they can give special grants for the citizens who are willing to live in rural areas. TO illustrate, many cities in China, has these kinds of government programs. As a result, they can solve many issues in the city. In addition, individuals can move to such kinds of areas, if they are willing to help to another town dwellers. In conclusion, although many people are reckoned to think that the authorities should take the responsibility for this tendency, others feel that each individual should take care of the surrounding world. In addition, the government fund can alleviate the situation.
These days, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from the overpopulation and its consequences. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to solve these problems as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
Furthermore
, urbanization processes are leading to create numerous problems such as lack of the drinking water, shortage of energy resources and transportation.
However
, these challenges can
be solved
by the authorities, if they work
efficiently
and
productively
.

On the one hand, it is true that one of the main problem which
is created
by the overcrowding is pollution, and these can lead to the other challenges such as global warming, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and melting ice.
As a result
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for the surrounding world.
Furthermore
, overcrowding can create the shortage of natural resources such as water, gas and oil for the urban dwellers
as well
as for the suburban dwellers. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals are suffering from the shortage of natural gas in Astana.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can alleviate these challenges. They can develop city amenities and facilities in the suburban regions in order to emigrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, they can give special grants for the citizens who are willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in rural areas. TO illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities in China, has these kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
programs.
As a result
, they can solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues in the city.
In addition
, individuals can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to such kinds of areas, if they are willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to another town dwellers.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are reckoned
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the authorities should take the responsibility for this tendency, others feel that each individual should take care of the surrounding world.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
addition, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
fund can alleviate the situation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay With the growth of satellite and cable television, people in many countries can now watch television channels from all over the world. The programmes that these foreign television networks show have a harmful effect on the local cultures of these countrie v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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