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You have recently taken a two-day course. Write to give your feedback to the course organiser and say-Give details of the course-What did you like or dislike about it-suggest some improvements to the course. v.1

You have recently taken a two-day course. Write to give your feedback to the course organiser and say-Give details of the course-What did you like or dislike about it-suggest some improvements to the course. v. 1
Obesity is one of the fastest growing health problems in recent years. This is causing serious concerns in our society and stemming this crisis has become necessary. The primary reason for people gaining weight is unhealthy foods and a government should tax these items to discourage people from purchasing it. Unhealthy items, such as fast-food and sugary drinks, are the main reason for people becoming obese. A main reason behind this is that these items are extremely cheap, thus making it accessible to all income levels. Therefore, junk food becoming steady part of the modern diet resulting in burgeoning obesity problems. In contrast, healthy products are relatively more expensive. For example, buying a salad for 1 person would cost upward of $10, while anyone can purchase a burger and a soda for less than $5. This naturally results in increased consumption of junk food and not enough of healthier food. Government should play an active role in encouraging consumption of clean and discouraging non-healthy products. One concrete step a local authority can take is controlling prices through the means of taxation. City, state, and national policies should reflect this priority by advocating for higher tax-dollars on unhealthy food. For instance, New York City levies a 10% sugar tax on 16oz or larger drinks and that resulted in reducing demand by 20% of soft drinks. The relation between price and consumption is well accepted in modern economic theories as well. To conclude, the government should be at the forefront of the obesity crisis and must take steps to curb the problem. One way to curtail overweight problem is to make unhealthy food more expensive by charging fat-tax, which shall result in rapidly decreasing demand and making society healthier.
Obesity is one of the fastest growing health
problems
in recent years. This is causing serious concerns in our society and stemming this crisis has become necessary. The primary reason for
people
gaining weight is unhealthy
foods
and a
government
should tax these items to discourage
people
from purchasing it.

Unhealthy items, such as
fast
-food and sugary drinks, are the main reason for
people
becoming obese. A main reason behind this is that these items are
extremely
cheap
,
thus
making it accessible to all income levels.
Therefore
, junk
food
becoming steady part of the modern diet resulting in burgeoning obesity
problems
.
In contrast
, healthy products are
relatively
more expensive.
For example
, buying a salad for 1 person would cost upward of $10, while anyone can
purchase
a burger and a soda for less than $5. This
naturally
results in increased consumption of junk
food
and not
enough
of healthier food.

Government
should play an active role in encouraging consumption of clean and discouraging non-healthy products. One concrete step a local authority can take is controlling prices through the means of taxation. City, state, and national policies should reflect this priority by advocating for higher tax-dollars on unhealthy
food
.
For instance
, New York City levies a 10% sugar tax on
16oz
or larger drinks and that resulted in reducing demand by 20% of soft drinks. The relation between price and consumption is well
accepted
in modern economic theories
as well
.

To conclude
, the
government
should be at the forefront of the obesity crisis and
must
take steps to curb the
problem
. One way to curtail overweight
problem
is to
make
unhealthy
food
more expensive by charging
fat
-tax, which shall result in
rapidly
decreasing demand and making society healthier.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You have recently taken a two-day course. Write to give your feedback to the course organiser and say-Give details of the course-What did you like or dislike about it-suggest some improvements to the course. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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