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In many countries television shows many foreign-made programmes. The dominance of imported entertainment is harmful to the cultures of these countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

In many countries television shows many foreign-made programmes. The dominance of imported entertainment is harmful to the cultures of these countries. v. 3
In recent days television has a significant impact in peoples life. Most of the nation display diverse international shows. The superiority of introducing amusement is very destructive to the civilization of this state. Foreign adopted pleasure has brought many disadvantages in youths behaviours as well as in their habits. Therefore, I agree with this statement. First of all, nations delicacy and tradition is adversely affected by the exposure of the overseas programmed. In fact, programmes listen to rap music and they begin to dress up like hip hop artists. They are more attracted towards the western arts and fashions. Similarly, this could replace the local dress. For instance, Nepalese had been mesmerised by the Indian films and shows from 1990's. We are copying their dressing sense and with whatever they came up, we adopt their trend. In addition, we are forgetting our culture. Secondly, adults are more likely to adore foreign lifestyle because foreigner lives individually and with different perception than ours. So they try to imitate their lifestyle, such as drinking alcohol, going in a pub, taking drugs. They will begin to think for themselves, not for family members. For example, one of my friend's brother was greatly impressed by one tv presentation and he began to smoke. And gradually this became his habits and at a course of time he has begun to take drugs as well. Although there are many advantages of distant tv performance, but benefits has been overlapped by its drawbacks. To sum up, international manifest watch by people might be hazardous as well as beneficial in many ways. People should watch by filtering the good and the bad array. Thus, people should be more selective in order to preserve their tact.
In recent
days
television has a significant impact in
peoples
life. Most of the nation display diverse international
shows
. The superiority of introducing amusement is
very
destructive to the civilization of this state. Foreign adopted pleasure has brought
many
disadvantages in youths
behaviours
as well
as in their habits.
Therefore
, I
agree
with this statement.

First of all
, nations delicacy and tradition is
adversely
affected
by the exposure of the overseas programmed. In fact,
programmes
listen to rap
music and
they
begin
to dress up like hip hop artists. They are more attracted towards the western arts and fashions.
Similarly
, this could replace the local dress.
For instance
, Nepalese had been
mesmerised
by the Indian films and
shows
from
1990's
. We are copying their dressing sense and with whatever they came up, we adopt their trend.
In addition
, we are forgetting our culture.

Secondly
, adults are more likely to adore foreign lifestyle
because
foreigner
lives
individually
and with
different
perception than ours.
So
they try to imitate their lifestyle, such as drinking alcohol, going in a pub, taking drugs. They will
begin
to
think
for themselves, not for family members.
For example
, one of my friend's brother was
greatly
impressed by one
tv
presentation and
he began to smoke. And
gradually
this became his habits and at a course of time he has begun to take drugs
as well
. Although there are
many
advantages of distant
tv
performance,
but
benefits has
been overlapped
by its drawbacks.

To sum up, international manifest
watch
by
people
might be hazardous
as well
as beneficial in
many
ways.
People
should
watch
by filtering the
good
and the
bad
array.
Thus
,
people
should be more selective in order to preserve their tact.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries television shows many foreign-made programmes. The dominance of imported entertainment is harmful to the cultures of these countries. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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