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Many TV channels show more men’s sport than women’s sport. Why is this? Should TV channels give equal time to men’s and women’s sport? v.1

Many TV channels show more men’s sport than women’s sport. Why is this? Should TV channels give equal time to men’s and women’s sport? v. 1
It is apparent that there is consistently far less TV coverage of women’s sport than of men’s sport. This discrepancy could be attributed to prevailing gender stereotypes within sport, and to combat this, there should be more balanced coverage of women’s sports from national broadcasters in order to gain support among a more mainstream audience. Doubtless, the shortage of airtime for women’s sport reflects the public’s outdated opinion on its entertainment value. For a long time, physically demanding activities in general, and sport in particular, have been largely associated with masculinity rather than femininity. Audiences are more drawn to games played by males, with the expectation of greater agility and more exciting competition. As a consequence of receiving less public attention and sponsorship, sports programs focusing on female sport is repeatedly cut, despite the fact that women still account for a large percentage of sports participants, giving more room for the representation of male sport matches. I am of the opinion that there should be a balance in the broadcasting of both men’s and women’s sports because of the tremendous benefits for society. The frequent TV coverage of the athletic achievements of successful male sporting celebrities encourages greater rates of participation across the globe, thus promoting the development of sportsmanship. If more screen time were devoted to female sports, there would be a rise in female role models for young women to follow, contributing to a change in the public mindset regarding female participation in sport and in turn catalyzing interest in sports involvement among women together with its numerous physical and social benefits. In conclusion, the uneven TV coverage of men’s and women’s sports is clearly linked to outdated opinions regarding gender roles in sport. Nonetheless, I firmly believe that more female athletes should be featured on TV so as to increase women’s participation in sport, with immense benefits for both females as individuals and society as a whole.
It is apparent that there is
consistently
far less TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coverage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
than of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. This discrepancy could
be attributed
to prevailing gender stereotypes within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, and to combat this, there should be more balanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coverage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
from national broadcasters in order to gain support among a more mainstream audience.

Doubtless, the shortage of airtime for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
reflects the public’s outdated opinion on its entertainment value. For a long time,
physically
demanding activities
in general
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in particular
, have been
largely
associated with masculinity
rather
than femininity. Audiences are more drawn to games played by males, with the expectation of greater agility and more exciting competition. As a consequence of receiving less public attention and sponsorship,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
programs focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is
repeatedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
, despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
still
account for a large percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
participants, giving more room for the representation of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
matches.

I am of the opinion that there should be a balance in the broadcasting of both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
’s and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the tremendous benefits for society. The frequent TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coverage
of the athletic achievements of successful male sporting celebrities encourages greater rates of participation across the globe,
thus
promoting the development of sportsmanship. If more screen time
were devoted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, there would be a rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
role models for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to follow, contributing to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the public mindset regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
participation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and in turn catalyzing interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
involvement among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
together with its numerous physical and social benefits.

In conclusion
, the uneven TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coverage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
’s and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is
clearly
linked to outdated opinions regarding gender roles in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. Nonetheless, I
firmly
believe that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
athletes should
be featured
on TV
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
participation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, with immense benefits for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
as individuals and society as a whole.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many TV channels show more men’s sport than women’s sport. Why is this? Should TV channels give equal time to men’s and women’s sport? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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