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With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.9

With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends? with this statement? v. 9
Nowadays, online communication is becoming more and more universally popular, the number of user increases rapidly. People strongly believe that thanks to it, not only will loneliness permanently disappear in their lives but social communication is likely to provide them with an opportunity to make friends with others. Personally, I partly agree with this opinion as follows. From positive perspectives, this means of communication is able to forges closer relationships among people worldwide through the Internet. To be specific, the widespread use of social network and messenger provides them with chances to become friends with each other. They have chatted on the Internet for a period of time, hence, they have mutual understanding of characters, personalities or interests. For instances, I have got acquaintances with an English soccer player in a group for fans of sports on Facebook. Apparently, we have many interests in common, especially our consuming passion for soccer. Additionally, This means of communication is also considered to be the interaction tool liberating them from loneliness as well. It is no doubt that some people have to leave home to attend higher education or even work in a strange city at the age of 18. Nevertheless, distance does not matter, as all they need is a computer or smartphone, they can reduce their homelessness by giving their family a video call through the Internet in their free time. However, in fact, many people have a tendency to connect with only friends through the Internet without conversation with acquaintances in real life. This issue leads to distant relationships among them. It is undeniable that youngster would desire to own a smartphone rather than play games with friends, which gradually lead to. As a result, I have voiced concern about the reduction of outdoor activities as the shortage of interaction in real life. Are you capable of imagining how quiet will the life be? By way of conclusion, even though online communication has both pros and cons, its advantages overweight its disadvantages due to the potential advancement.
Nowadays, online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is becoming more and more
universally
popular, the number of user increases
rapidly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
strongly
believe that thanks to it, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will loneliness
permanently
disappear in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is likely to provide them with an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
with others.
Personally
, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion as follows.

From
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
perspectives, this means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is able to forges closer relationships among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
worldwide through the Internet. To be specific, the widespread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of social network and messenger provides them with chances to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
with each other. They have chatted on the Internet for a period of time,
hence
, they have mutual understanding of characters, personalities or interests. For instances, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
acquaintances with an English soccer player in a group for fans of sports on Facebook.
Apparently
, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
interests in common,
especially
our consuming passion for soccer.
Additionally
, This means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is
also
considered to be the interaction tool liberating them from loneliness
as well
. It is no doubt that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
home to attend higher education or even work in a strange city at the age of 18.
Nevertheless
, distance does not matter, as all they need is a computer or smartphone, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their homelessness by giving their family a video call through the Internet in their free time.

However
, in fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a tendency to connect with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
through the Internet without conversation with acquaintances in real life. This issue leads to distant relationships among them. It is undeniable that youngster would desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a smartphone
rather
than play games with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, which
gradually
lead to.
As a result
, I have voiced concern about the reduction of outdoor activities as the shortage of interaction in real life. Are you capable of imagining how quiet will the life be?

By way of conclusion,
even though
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
has both pros and cons, its advantages overweight its disadvantages due to the potential advancement.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends? with this statement? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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