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With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.6

With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends? with this statement? v. 6
Development of online communication in today’s world is enormous and people can reach instantly one another. People never feel alone, a handheld device can make people closer, who are miles far away. An introduction on how communication developed over a decade, a brief note on the merits, demerits and its consequences. First, let’s have a recollection of history and people were excited, when communication become possible through wire / landline, which was invented by Graham bell. Latter period, which was a couple of decades ago mobile phone was discovered. The new age discovery brought revolution in the industry as well as to the common people. As of today’s date, more than billion subscribers around the world and they were also using the internet. It can be categorized into four age groups, such as children, teen, professional and elders. The first group of people uses majorly for watching rhymes and play games. The second category is the major focus, teens. They brought the revolution, by using social media and other chat services in a full-fledged manner. The third set of people has a major focus on business and employment related services. Finally, the elderly people and their scope of usage based on online services, such as medical and health care. To mention noteworthy, online shopping becomes very popular among youth, which can provide a vast range of products at your doorstep. The services provided by the online shopping website, make them very popular. Internet also adapted by the country’s government, to provide door step services, such as issue licenses and other government services. On the other hand, demerits can be listed, such as social media friendship cannot stay for a longer period and virtual world is entirely different than the actual world. It exposes our data to any strangers, which is seriously vulnerable. Second, always use internet in a smart way and don’t get exposed to any phishing attack. I can agree to some extent, that online chat could make us friends and get us involved in social activities. At the same it could be dangerous to expose our personal information to a new person. Act smartly and safely.
Development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
communication in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is enormous and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can reach
instantly
one another.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
never feel alone, a handheld device can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer, who are miles far away.

An introduction on how communication developed over a decade, a brief note on the merits, demerits and its consequences.
First
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
’s have a recollection of history and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were excited
, when communication become possible through wire / landline, which
was invented
by Graham bell. Latter period, which was a couple of decades ago mobile phone
was discovered
. The new age discovery brought revolution in the industry
as well
as to the common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

As of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s date, more than
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
subscribers around the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
they were
also
using the internet. It can
be categorized
into four age groups, such as children, teen, professional and elders. The
first
group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
majorly
for watching rhymes and play games. The second category is the major focus, teens. They brought the revolution, by using social media and other chat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
Consider replacing "in a full-fledged manner" with the adverb for "full-fledged"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a full-fledged manner
. The third set of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has a major focus on business and employment related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
Finally
, the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their scope of usage based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, such as medical and health care.

To mention noteworthy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular among youth, which can provide a vast range of products at your doorstep. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
provided by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping website,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular. Internet
also
adapted by the country’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, to provide door step
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, such as issue licenses and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
services.

On the other hand
, demerits can
be listed
, such as social media friendship cannot stay for a longer period and virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is
entirely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Did you mean 'different "from"? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
than
the actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. It exposes our data to any strangers, which is
seriously
vulnerable.

Second, always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet
Consider replacing "in a smart way" with the adverb for "smart"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a smart way
and don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposed to any phishing attack. I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
chat could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us friends and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
us involved in social activities. At the same it could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to expose our personal information to a new person. Act
smartly
and
safely
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends? with this statement? v. 6

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
358 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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