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With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends? with this statement? v. 1
There is no doubt that online communication has brought more people together than ever before. Advancement in technology has potentially helped people to attain new friends and getting rid of loneliness. I completely agree with this statement. The most significant advantage of online communication is it did bring the world closer. In other words, individuals are able to connect with people around the globe using social network and messenger services. For Instance, I have got acquainted with an American cricket player whom i met on a common group on Facebook. In Contrast, It would have been difficult to obtain knowledge about the playing conditions in America. Evidently, online communication help people to create a close relationship with people worldwide and making us understand the world in a better way. One problem with online communication is safety. For example, Some individuals create fake profile to pick on people or stalk someone. This is a problem as it compromises one’s safety and is also a privacy concern. To solve this people should be extra cautions when connecting to unknown people or sharing their secrets to an individual. As a result, Everyone would be able to have a good conversation with people they are comfortable with and avoid mischievous one’s, making use of platform in an appropriate way. In conclusion, Although there are a few safety issues with online communication which are not difficult to deal with just by being a little proactive. In my opinion, the advantages of online communication outweighs the disadvantages due to potential advancement.
There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
has brought more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Advancement in technology has
potentially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to attain new friends and getting rid of loneliness. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

The most significant advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is it did bring the world closer.
In other words
, individuals are able to connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the globe using social network and messenger services.
For Instance
, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
acquainted with an American cricket player whom
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
met on a common group on Facebook.
In Contrast
, It would have been difficult to obtain knowledge about the playing conditions in America.
Evidently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to create a close relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
worldwide and making us understand the world in a better way.

One problem with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is safety.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals create fake profile to pick on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or stalk someone.

This is a problem as it compromises one’s safety and is
also
a privacy concern. To solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be extra cautions when connecting to unknown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or sharing their secrets to an individual.
As a result
, Everyone would be able to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
conversation with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they are comfortable with and avoid mischievous one’s, making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of platform
Consider replacing "in an appropriate way" with the adverb for "appropriate"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an appropriate way
.

In conclusion
, Although there are a few safety issues with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
which are not difficult to deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by being a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
proactive. In my opinion, the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
outweighs the disadvantages due to potential advancement.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends? with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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