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With technology speeding up, more and more young people begin to use mobile phones and the Internet, but old people have little chance to be exposed to them. What ways could mobile phone and the Internet be useful to old people? How can old people be encouraged to use this new technology? v.1

With technology speeding up, more and more young people begin to use mobile phones and the Internet, but old people have little chance to be exposed to them. What ways could mobile phone and the Internet be useful to old people? How can old people be encouraged to use this new technology? v. 1
In this technology driven era, it is observed that elderly people exhibit a lack of interest towards the learning of new technology. This essay expresses the ways older people can use technology and it also suggests some measures help older people overcome their lack of curiosity to take advantages of new technology. Obviously, new technology alleviates the workload and help to complete our daily tasks instantaneously with high perfection and this does not exclude the old people. For instance, people can pay the utility bills, do online shopping or can complete bank transactions through Internet just sitting at home. Older people, if taught how to take advantages of it, can save time and perform their banking and other necessary tasks staying at home. Undeniably, most of the elderly people are weak and unable to travel a lot. So being able to pay the bills and maintaining the bank account at their residence would be a blessing for them. Moreover, the retired people are socially isolated and less often contact their friends or relatives due to their physical weakness. But using the Internet and mobile gadget they can chat, talk or make video calls and enjoy their old age. Furthermore, by the use of Internet they can also contact the family physician and discuss their illness and can do the follow-up. A simple video chat with a grandchild who stays far away or watching a favourite movie online could be a great satisfaction for a senior citizen. Once they are introduced with the advantages of the new technology like mobile phone, computer or the Internet, they will not fear the technological devices. Nevertheless, interests towards learning new thing, especially technology related skills, decline as our age advances. This can be tackled by motivation and support from the youngsters. For instance, the grandchildren can teach the grandfather and grandmother how to operate a mobile phone or surf the Internet. In addition, mobile phones should be manufactured keeping those old people in mind. Large display with a larger font, voice navigation, and ease of use could be some vital factors to motivate old people to use cell phones. Instead of international language like English, local or regional languages should also be incorporated in the cell phone and websites so that the elderly people can follow the instruction independently. Last but not the least family members’ inspiration and supports can be two great factors to encourage old people to take advantages of technological devices like cell phones and Internets. Old people do not need to know how to built a website, rather they should be taught how to browse a website and introducing them the positive and interesting aspects of the technology would also encourage them to actually use them. In conclusion, the advanced technologies like mobile phone and Internet could be really helpful for older people. Since older generation has a tendency not to learn the use of such technologies, it is young generation and family members’ responsibility to motivate and encourage them to take advantages of those technologies.
In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
driven era, it
is observed
that elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
exhibit a lack of interest towards the learning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. This essay expresses the ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and it
also
suggests
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
overcome their lack of curiosity to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology.

Obviously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
alleviates the workload and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to complete our daily tasks
instantaneously
with high perfection and this does not exclude the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can pay the utility bills, do online shopping or can complete bank transactions through Internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sitting at home.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, if taught how to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of it, can save time and perform their banking and other necessary tasks staying at home.
Undeniably
, most of the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are weak and unable to travel a lot.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
being able to pay the bills and maintaining the bank account at their residence would be a blessing for them.
Moreover
, the retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
socially
isolated and less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
contact their friends or relatives due to their physical weakness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
using the Internet and mobile gadget they can chat, talk or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
video calls and enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age.

Furthermore
, by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of Internet they can
also
contact the family physician and discuss their illness and can do the follow-up. A simple video chat with a grandchild who stays far away or watching a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
movie online could be a great satisfaction for a senior citizen. Once they
are introduced
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
like mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, computer or the Internet, they will not fear the technological devices.

Nevertheless
, interests towards learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
thing,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, decline as our age advances. This can
be tackled
by motivation and support from the youngsters.
For instance
, the grandchildren can teach the grandfather and grandmother how to operate a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
or surf the Internet.
In addition
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
should
be manufactured
keeping those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in mind. Large display with a larger font, voice navigation, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
vital factors to motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
Instead
of international language like English, local or regional languages should
also
be incorporated
in the cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and websites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can follow the instruction
independently
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least family members’ inspiration and supports can be two great factors to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of technological devices like cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and Internets.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not need to know how
Did you mean "to build"?
to built
a website,
rather
they should
be taught
how to browse a website and introducing them the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and interesting aspects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
would
also
encourage them to actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them.

In conclusion
, the advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
like mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and Internet could be
really
helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
generation has a tendency not to learn the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
, it is young generation and family members’ responsibility to motivate and encourage them to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay With technology speeding up, more and more young people begin to use mobile phones and the Internet, but old people have little chance to be exposed to them. What ways could mobile phone and the Internet be useful to old people? How can old people be encouraged to use this new technology? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
506 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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